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He said softly, “I’ve killed people.”
“So have I.” He flinched and his mouth dropped open slightly at her confession. “When Andus was attacked.”
“That’s different. That was self-defense.” She could see the guilt in his eyes. He might not have been there that day, but it didn’t matter. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”
“I don’t want to live through that a second time.” She didn’t know if she could. She wasn’t strong enough. The first time had stripped her of so much. What would she lose if they were attacked again?
“I don’t want you to live through that again either.” He propped up his head with his arm and began to make plans for when and how they could leave. He spoke with such exhilaration that it made her excited for their future, too.
“I do have one question. When we leave here…are you going to be nice to Eli?”
“Absolutely not,” he answered without hesitation.
She smacked his chest playfully, and they both laughed.
“I’m serious. I can’t travel through the wilderness with you two bickering the whole time. You have to get along.”
“What is it with the two of you, anyway?”
She inhaled and rolled onto her back, looking at the ceiling. “He’s my best friend.”
“Just your friend? There’s never been anything else between you two?” His voice was strained. It was clear he didn’t want to have this conversation, but he needed to know.
She bit the inside of her cheek. “Well, no.”
“No?” His eyes were wide and expectant.
“We kind of thought we would get married one day,” she said nonchalantly, as if it wasn’t a big deal. And it wasn’t. Their inevitable marriage had shattered the day Andus was attacked. It didn’t feel real anymore, at least not to Ali.
“Everyone thought it. Our parents…Eli…myself. It’s just the way it was. He made the most sense. When you grow up in a small town, there aren’t a lot of options, you know.”
“No, I don’t know. Is this why he’s so obsessed with you?” Ali didn’t have to look at him to hear the jealousy in his voice.
“I think he might’ve been in love with me,” she confessed quietly.
“You think?” His eyes widened.
She didn’t just think—she knew. She recalled the night before the attack when he had confessed. “There might’ve been some hints.”
“Were you in love with him?”
“No. It was never like that for me. He’s my best friend, but he's not just that, Nik. He’s my family. He’s important to me.”
“Your family,” he mumbled.
They lay together, not speaking for a few minutes. Nik was clearly stewing over her choice of words.
Finally, he broke the silence. “And what happens if I can’t get along with him?”
“Don’t make me choose, Nik,” Ali said in barely more than a whisper.
His eyes bore into her. He didn’t have to ask to know what she meant. She wouldn’t choose him. She had to choose Eli. Family came first and he would always be in her life. After everything they had been through, after the attack on Andus, she couldn’t just run away and start a new life without him.
“Fine. I will play nice with the best friend of the woman I love, who just happens to be in love with her,” he said sardonically.
“Thank you.” She was eternally grateful to him. He had a good heart, and she knew he would set aside his feelings to do this for her. He couldn’t even see that he was so far from being a monster.
Then Nik flinched as if he’d just thought of something. “You didn’t…you didn’t have sex with him, did you?”
