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Nicholas went to the cabinet where he kept the whiskey I’d given him, and poured two glasses. “Before there even was the word gay. Throughout the centuries, I saw so many men who I found attractive, but they could never see me.” He handed me a glass.
“That seems a hell of a price to pay.”
“I know. And I really believed it.”
“Was… was Nicholas gay, way back when?”
He said nothing, but eventually gave a nod.
“Well,there’sa fact that never made it into the history books.”
“Not that I ever told a soul, or even so much askissedanother man.” He swallowed. “I’ve been so alone.” His voice cracked. “And then you walked into that living room, and you couldseeme. The first person ever to do so, since I’d been made immortal.”
“Wait a second.Someonemust’ve seen you, for all those descriptions to suddenly appear.”
He stilled. “You’re right. I never thought about that. So maybe therehavebeen glimpses through the ages. I only knew that when I was in people’s homes, I was invisible—until you. In that moment, I believed God had taken pity on me. Atlast,there was someone I could talk to, be friends with.” He perched on the coffee table in front of me, staring at me. “For all this time, you have been my best and only friend, and I have loved every minute we’ve spent together.” His lips twitched. “I have to admit, the minutes have gotten more… interesting in recent years.”
Now I understood. “No wonder the first thing we do is end up in your bed. You’re making up for lost time.” I grinned. “Not that I’m complaining. A year of waiting to touch you does tend to make me a little… desperate.”
“A desperation I know only too well. But it’s not just the physical side of our relationship. There is so much more to you. You calm me. You make me feel I can do anything.” He smiled. “You make me happy.”
Warmth flooded me. “I’m glad about that. And I’m glad someone decided to give you a friend.”
Except I wanted to be so much more than that.
Then I realized how selfish I was being. My needs were a grain of sand compared to the life he’d led, the centuries of solitude he’d endured. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, and I gave way to them, letting them spill down my cheeks until they dripped from my beard.
He was off the table and kneeling before me in a heartbeat. “Anthony? What’s wrong?” A handkerchief appeared from nowhere, and he dried my tears. “You’re scaring me.”
I swallowed, but there was a lump in my throat. “The thought of you alone here breaks my fucking heart.” I pulled him to me, feeling his warmth, his arms around me, his lips brushing mine in kiss after fervent kiss.
“But I’m not alone now, am I?” He curved his hand around my cheek, looking me in the eye. “I have you.”
“But you only get me for one night a year,” I flung back at him.
“And believe me, I live for that night. Knowing I get to hold you again. Kiss you. Talk to you. Make you laugh.” He sat back on his haunches. “Throughout the year I think of things I want to tell you, and I write them down so I’ll remember. But by the time Christmas Eve rolls around, there are too many of them. And I don’t have the time to fit them all in. So when I get you here, all I want to do is hold you, make love to you—reconnect with you.”
“I’m here,” I murmured, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his lips. “And all of me is yours, for as long as we get.”
The trouble was, we didn’t get long enough.
We lay down once more on the couch, his arms around me again. And in that moment I realized this was what I wanted to do for the rest of Christmas Eve—to feel him next to me, to share his warmth.
To let the enormity of what he’d just told me fade a little.
I thought back on his revelations. “So… when you ‘died’…” I hooked my fingers. “How old were you?”
“Seventy-three.”
I gaped. “Wow. I’d have said you were the same age as me.”
“I think they were generous. The first time I saw myself in a mirror, I knew they’d taken off a few years. So maybe wearethe same age, after all.”
The right age for me, definitely.
“You know what? You look damn good for a man your age, Nicholas.”
He smiled. “So you’re going to call me by my name?”
