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Mind-blowing, earth-shattering sex. Thick, beautiful cocks in my pussy, in my mouth, in my ass. I had never even had a cock in my ass before this week, and now—as Derek might say— I’m practically gagging for it.
I start making that bucket list I should’ve made before I went to Nicole’s spa. I’ve finally realized I need to think about myself sometimes. Not only will I be happier, but it really is better for my company.
I start with the things I’ve checked off on this adventure with my four dashing escorts. The places we went, the amazing experiences we had, and of course, the incredible sex we had.
Next, I list the yacht—crossing the Atlantic in a mega-yacht is something I probably wouldn’t have thought to put on a list if I had made one—but fuck it, that’s what’s happening.
I pause, looking down at the sheet of paper covered in my new experiences and all the things I never would’ve done for myself.
So many of them are things I’ve sent other people off to do. Killian was right when he scolded me that first day. I didn’t know.
I didn’t know what I was really giving people when I was helping them plan their dream.
I know better now. I turn the page, a blank sheet in front of me.
What do I want next?
The plane hits a tiny bit of turbulence. I catch my flute of champagne, but leave a small streak of ink on the clean sheet of paper. I start to tear it out, but I stop myself.
Instead, I sit back and take a couple of sips.
I put a slice of ripe mango on my tongue and close my eyes. For a moment, I’m transported back to Spencer’s resort, the first time in my whole life I didn’t have a schedule.
I’ve heard people talk about island time—the quiet efficiency of people getting things done organically without the pulsing of deadlines driving them forward.
Before my tropical escape, I just thought it would be annoying. And I did feel lost at first without a schedule—no itinerary, no meetings. Everything I built my world around was suddenly gone, replaced with gentle urgings from Spencer and Derek.
I let them take control because I was lost.
That wasn’t the case in Japan. Xane’s so different from Spencer. From the moment the train let us off in Hokkaido, Xane was in control.
It was subtle but commanding—and almost a relief. I’ve been the boss for a long time, but I let Xane tell me what to do, because, well, I really didn’t know what to do. I was in another country on a vacation for the first time; of course I wanted someone else to call the shots.
The plane dips, and for a moment, I feel almost weightless. I look out the window, feeling nostalgic. I think about being suspended for Xane and Killian, hanging in the air, completely dependent on them and how they took the opportunity to drive me to the heights of pleasure, of sensations I never even knew could exist.
The sun gleams across the cotton ball clouds, sparkling like floodlights on the mountain. I smile to myself, thinking back to the restaurant0—Xane and all his control, helpless while I stroked him and Derek off under the table, making them come for dessert. It was their own fault; they put their cocks in my hands.
Then the snow, the hot tub, and the mountain. I felt so small and insignificant there in the quiet night in the field of snow, but Derek and Xane were there, making me feel like the only thing in the world. They made me feel brave and wonderful.
I know I wasn’t flying down a black diamond slope, but I got some damn good speed down that bunny hill!
I turn back to the table in front of me. Everything here is Killian’s. I bring my hand up to my throat. I’m not wearing the collar right now, but I can still feel its weight and the cool metal when he first clicked it in place.
The click is what did it; until that moment, I was a spectator. Sure, I was having tons of kinky sex all over the world with four playboys, but when I let Killian put the collar around my throat, I could feel the game change. Not even when I let him and Spencer spank me in the street did I feel as utterly controlled as when I heard that click through the pulsing beat.
I forgot how to speak, I forgot my business and all my responsibilities, and I forgot how to move without his command. All I could think about was doing as Killian said.
I put my everything in his hands the moment I let him collar me. I didn’t know I could do that, I didn’t know I might want to.
