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Chapter 14
Evelynn
Everything between the boys and me is different now. I want to see them, feel them, and even touch them, but I can’t.
Why do my morals have to prevent me from having what I want? I need this place to succeed, but if I become involved with the men, it might cloud my judgment.
They’ve all been more professional than I expected, much to my surprise. I expected some pushback—maybe even hoped for some. I think some part of me wanted to be convinced otherwise, seduced.
But I want them, and I can’t let myself want them…so this is for the best. It’s for the business, and that has to always come first.
I sit in my office, the security cameras on, but the room is dark. I feel like one of those perverts on the late night TV shows. The ones that play around 3 a.m. and keep you awake for hours.
Sighing softly, I watch as Brandon walks in a room with his client. She’s helped into a sex swing, her clothing now gone. For a moment, there’s a pang of jealousy there.
I wish that were me. I would love to be lifted into the device and my ass pelted with welts. He’s using the flogger on her flesh as she cries out in what I would describe as painful pleasure.
I’m more envious than jealous. Hitting the keyboard to switch views, the room that Finn is using comes on the screen. He has a client bent over and is using a paddle on her ass. The heart-shaped design that’s engraved on the wood leaves marks on her flesh.
I shiver in desire before flipping the screen off and sitting in the dark for a few moments. I need to make my rounds in the club, but the worry of being stopped by one of the ten is there.
“Stop it, Evelynn. Just stop it!”
I’m talking to myself, but I know better. I must face the demons head-on and do my job. I crossed the line, and I will make sure not to do that again.
I straighten my skirt before exiting the office for a walk through the club.
One glance in the mirror, and I feel off.
I’m not sure what’s going on with me lately, but there’s always the feeling that someone is lurking. The same feeling you get when someone is staring at you, but you don’t realize it right away. Hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I can’t shake the creepy feeling.
Taking a deep breath, walking to the bar area, I stop to make small talk with a few clients when I hear footsteps stop behind me. A glance over my left shoulder and—it’s exactly what I fear. It’s Theo, and he isn’t leaving.
“Miss Evelynn, do you need anything tonight?” Theo asks.
He knows I don’t. I smile politely, shake my head no, and continue the conversation with the ladies at the bar. It’s bothering me to be this way, but it’s for the best. We have a working relationship—I’m their boss.
I hear the sigh when he walks away, but I don’t react to it. I can’t show my weakness to them right now. My head must remain in the game.
I reach behind the bar for a drink when a sudden chill consumes me. What the hell is going on? Why do I feel like around every corner a stranger is lurking—or worse, like I might see Ash, Draven, or Lars? Goddammit. Those three have me fearing the shadows now.
I excuse myself.
Heading back to my office, I bump into Brandon in the hall. Small talk between us is a simple hello, I’m busy, and goodbye. I know this is hurting them—and if they knew me well, they’d know it was hurting me as well.
I go back to work.
Dinner is brought to my office sometime later. I ordered it from a little Italian place around the corner.
I didn’t expect Max to deliver it to me, though.
“Boss, dinner’s here. I paid for it, but no worries. Have a good dinner.”
He’s gone before I can insist on paying.
“Dammit.” Mumbling to myself, I shut the door so no one else can bother me. Of course, if I were being honest with myself, they aren’t really bothers.
But they’re distractions. Seeing those men, even for a moment, gives me flutters of butterflies in my stomach.
I switch off the lights again, the security monitors now illuminating the room as I eat my dinner.
I want to be these clients. I need to feel them touch me again. Why is this happening to me? I need them more than I have ever needed anything before.
I rest my chin in the palm of my hand as I watch the club. First the rooms, then the halls, and a few glances at the parking lot.
When the shadows of people walk in and out, the door catches my eye. I get that familiar tremble in my body.
