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“Mine is the blue one,” I said, leaning forward to point. “With the gray garage door.”
Connor twisted the steering wheel as he turned into my empty driveway. The house was a ghostly figure, all windows blacked out, not a trace of light inside. He tipped his head to me once he’d parked the car. “Now, thank me, because it would’ve taken you five times longer to get home.”
I didn’t thank him. I stared at the way his headlights hit the garage door, two spotlights on the gray paint. “Your tip didn’t work.”
Connor didn’t even have to ask what I meant. “Yeah, well, it won’t work on idiots.”
“It seemed to work on Jade last night.”
His hands loosely gripped the steering wheel, but hadn’t paused their tapping, a flutter that held my attention. Focusing on his fingers was easier than looking at him. “The thing with Jade,” he began slowly, voice a low murmur, “is that she’s only interested when she wants to be.”
His answer wasn’t as satisfying as I’d been hoping. It wasn’t a magic cure-all that I could implement on my own relationship. Was that how it was with Alex? He was only interested when he wanted to be? I thought about his attention to his videogames even when his legs were in my lap. How easily his attention was snagged by a couple of kids walking through the diner door.
I decided that if I was going to humiliate myself, I might as well go the full nine yards. “Do you two love each other?”
“That’soverrated,” Connor said, words accompanied by a scoff. “No one falls in love in high school.”
I’d take that as ano. “You can fall in love in high school. I did.”
“You call that love?” he demanded, casting that hazel glare over at me. An incredulous smile crossed his lips. “Leaving someone to walk home alone for a chance to chat with people who are practically strangers? What you and Alex have, you’d call that love?”
I gripped the door handle tighter. Why hadn’t I opened it yet? “He loves me.”
“If that’s love, I don’t want it.”
The bluntness of his response was sharp, simple. Detached. Words designed to make me feel stupid and naïve for believing in love in the first place. Stupid and naïve for wanting it. “No, you want a high-profile relationship,” I shot back, turning on him. “A relationship that requires zero effort and one that people fawn over you over. You want to be the It-Couple—to hell with actual feelings right?That’ssad.”
My throat ached from the severity of my words, and my ears rang with the silence that followed. Connor regarded me as a stranger might’ve—a stranger who bumped into them, jarring their shoulder. “If you’re done insulting me, you can get out now.”
I wanted to throw back at him that he’d started it, he’d insulted my relationship first, but his words settled like stones on my chest.
See? Even he doesn’t want to be around you.
I popped the door open and stepped out into the night, not hesitating for a second before slamming it shut. Connor’s headlights passed over me as he backed out of the driveway, tires crunching on the gravel, kicking it up on his haste to drive off.
And then all I saw were his taillights as they pummeled down the road.
Struggling to unlock the door, I was struck once more with howlonelyI felt. Like I was the only person on the planet. When my key finally flipped the lock over, and the dark house greeted me, I couldn’t help but feel like I had to be the only one who was having a bad night.
Iwoke up Saturday morning to my cell phone buzzing on my nightstand, and I had half a mind to ignore it. It had to be at least six in the morning, judging by the faint shade of the sky visible through my window, which was too early for a non-school day. Especially given how late I’d been up the night before, my face in my pillow to stifle my crying.
But my phone kept buzzing at an annoying level, and with a groan, I pressed it to my ear. “Lo?”
“Hey, May-May,” the honeyed tone quickly quipped on the other end.
In an instant, I was wide awake. “Wow, Idohave a sister. And here I thought I’d hallucinated her my entire life. Can you remind me, what’s your name again?”
Jozie laughed. “I know, I know, I’ve been meaning to call. I had a big assignment due right off the bat, so I haven’t had the chance.”
I pressed my phone firmer to my ear if only to try and bring her voice closer, closing my eyes. “You could’ve waited a little longer to call, though. You’re an hour ahead of us. It’s only six here. On aSaturday.”
“Waking up with the sun is good for the body and soul. Mom was saying you’ve been popping your knuckles again. Have you tried meditating? Try waking up before sunrise and—”
“If I’d known you were going to call to nag at me, I would’ve missed you a lot less.”
“See, I told you that you’d miss me.” Happiness radiated from her voice. “Fill me in on everything that’s happened this week. How’s school? How are your friends? How’s Alex?”
The bubble of happiness that’d ballooned around me at the sound of Jozie’s voice popped. Last night came back in scissoring memories, one after another snipping across my vision. Reality set in, and I peeled my eyes open to stare at the ceiling. “Everything’s fine.”
