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“Can I get a raincheck?” I asked him. Alex’s hand latched onto mine, but I felt very, very far away. “I’m not feeling very well.”
Alex was quick to agree. “Sure, sure, I’ll drive you home. A few guys from the band were doing a live tournament on our videogame, so that actually works out.”
We made our way to the car silently, and the drive back to my house was even quieter. Why did I feel so…unsettled? Discomfort clung to me like a second skin, holding my happy thoughts hostage. Alex and Maisie time had been the whole reason I went to the stupid football game. But the thought of going to a movie with him, plastering on a false smile, left me too drained.
Andwhydid I need a fake smile?
Alex waited until I got the front door unbolted before backing down my driveway, flashing his lights once in farewell. I lifted a hand to wave, but he was already down the street.
The house was dark and empty as I let myself into it, basking in the quiet for a long moment. Our shadowy foyer was adorned with a few art pieces Mom had either acquired or painted herself, and I stared at a black and gray one. The different shades of colors were splattered across the canvas in a way that looked half-finished. I pressed my thumbnail against my mouth, wishing, not for the first time, that I could understand what they all went crazy over.
Instead, all I saw was a confusing, jumbled canvas of nothing.
That’s what my insides felt like, really. Confusing, jumbled. Maybe I could relate with the art piece after all.
My steps were heavy as I ventured down the hall, not flicking on any lights, basking in the darkness. I sat down on my bed, wondering if Connor had gotten to the party yet.
Never in my life had I ever loaded up Brentwood Babble for gossip myself, but tonight, I opened the webpage. Ava had a little search bar on the main blog, and with slow fingers, I typed in one name.Connor.
And just like that, I fell down the rabbit hole of articles.
Connor had joked about me being his stalker, and now it potentially could’ve been the case. I knew more about him than I should’ve.
My eyes burned as I scrolled through article after article, consuming so much content that my brain felt a little like goo. Words stopped making sense, but I read the blog posts, anyway.
Connor Bray and Jade Dyer—New Power Couple???
Brentwood Star Athlete Scores the Winning Touchdown!
POLL: Jannor Is Off Again—When Do You Think They Will Reunite?
Ranking the Football Players—Spoiler Alert: Connor Is At the Top!
POLL: How Should Connor Ask Jade to Junior Prom?
All of Connor’s articles were entwined with football or Jade, like one couldn’t exist without the other. Of course, I read all of them. I found myself neck-deep in it all. Jannor first got together September of sophomore year and had broken up a total of five times since. He was nominated MVP last year, something completely unheard of for a junior. For junior prom, Connor asked Jade by spelling out2, 4, 6, 8 – WILL U BE MY PROM DATEin flowers on her front lawn.
That would’ve been around the time his parents lost their house, but in the photo attached to the Brentwood Babble post, with Jade at his side, he was beaming from ear to ear.
As I clicked on another article, my phone buzzed with a text message. It was one of Jozie’s good morning texts, and I quickly sent back a heart emoji before going back to scrolling.
A second later, my phone began ringing with an incoming call.
“What are you doing up so early?” Jozie demanded, shock a heavy weight in her voice. “It’s, like, five in the morning there.”
My no doubt bloodshot eyes widened. Sure enough, the sky was a faint blue, hinting at a sleepy morning stretching across Brentwood. I’d been on Babble for hours.Hours.
For how zombie-like I felt, my answer came quickly. “I did what you suggested. Waking up before the sun, meditating, all that anxiety-reducing jazz.”
Jozie made a smacking noise with her lips. “Fine, let’s say I believe you. So, you know how I follow your friends on social media?”
“Okay?”
“Rachel posted an interesting photo last night. It was of the football game. Guess who I caught slipping a slushy in the background?”
I couldn’t help but wince. “I was forced. At gunpoint. Ava can be very persuasive.”
“Hey, I get it, I get it. It makes sense you’re more interested in the school stuff your senior year.” There was amusement in Jozie’s voice, though, that lilt that sounded likeI-told-you-so. “Sports can be fun, right?”
