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A little flutter stirred behind my ribcage, like a hummingbird moving around.It doesn’t matter, I tried to tell myself.It doesn’t matter if he tried to do the right thing.
Quickly, I flipped open the flap of my satchel and dug out the Algebra II textbook. “I—I came by to return this.”
Mrs. Diego examined the cover and then squinted at me again. “Did you get enough sleep last night?” She sounded like a mom with the worry in her voice, and with the crease in her brow, she looked like a grandmother. “If you promise not to send Connor signals, I can let you rest your head on one of the desks before classes start.”
She’d been teasing about the first part, because she knew that goody-two-shoes Maisie would never help him cheat, but my insides instantly rebelled. Facing Connor now? Not happening. “I’d hate to distract him.” I took another step back from her, drawing my bag closer. “I’ll see you in last period.”
“I know it’s a half-day today, but stop by my room when school lets out. I should have his test graded by then.”
So there was even more pressure on this day. More to anxiously await. It kept building, trying to flatten me underneath it all. Without another word, I turned on my heel. From here, I had no idea where I’d go, where I’d hide out.Could hide out in the equipment closet, I thought bitterly.
I’d gotten probably twenty feet down the long hallway before I heard it, the screech of sneakers squeaking against the floor, followed by a voice. “Maisie!”
When I turned around, I found Connor jogging down the hallway toward me, expression urgent and desperate. “What are you doing?” I demanded, heart jumping into my throat. “You’re literally in the middle of your exam.”
“I saw your book,” he said as he got closer, “and I wanted—” He cut himself off as he stopped right in front of me, drawing in an unsteady inhale. I stared at the22in glittering gold. “Ineededto talk to you.”
I’d begun shaking my head even before he finished his sentence. “Now that you’ve had how many hours to think of an excuse, now you want to talk?”
“Maisie—”
“You want to talk to menow,” I cut him off sharply, hating my voice for already beginning to tremble. “When there’s no one else around to see it.”
He breathed hard, as if he’d finished sprinting a mile, as if his heart was thundering in his chest just as hard as mine. “She would’ve made everything worse,” Connor rushed to say. “She would’ve told everyone that we kissed, she would’ve told everyone you were the one to sabotage Madison, she would’ve—”
“Who cares?” I squared my shoulders, trying to come off braver than I was. Over his shoulder, I spotted Mrs. Diego standing outside her classroom door and watching us. “I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you.”
“I’mnot.” His voice was fierce as he lowered his head to look straight into my eyes. His own were wide, as if he were trying to convey as much truth as possible. “I’m not embarrassed.”
“Prove it. Otherwise, you’re exactly like Alex.” My eyes beginning to fill with stupid tears. It was ridiculous to be crying over this, but my insides truly felt like it they were being squeezed into mush. “You care more about what people think than about me. And I can’t—I can’t do that again.”
He winced as if someone had stabbed him, and I knew that I was the one holding the hilt of the knife. There’d been a time once when all I’d wanted to do was hurt him, back when I’d barely even known him. Now, with the opportunity, the pain in his gaze was enough for me to drown in, and I absolutelyhatedit.
Mrs. Diego had taken a step down the hall at that point, no doubt coming over here to draw Connor back into the classroom. The thought of her seeing me with tears in my eyes filled me with an intense sense of mortification.
“Maisie,” he whispered, and his eyes started to seem blurry, too.
“I just can’t, okay?” My voice caught, and I forced my features into a scowl, hoping my angry features would chase away the water blurring my vision. “I can’t be a secret friend. A secret anything.”
He reached out to me, but I jerked away before his fingers could graze my skin, terrified that the touch would transport me back to last night, to when he kissed me back and elicited a wave of warmth. Terrified it’d break my resolve. “Don’t forget to check your work.”
And for the second time in twenty-four hours, I walked away from Connor, fighting for composure, and for the second time in twenty-four hours, he let me.
Every part of me trembled as I hurried down the hallway, half-blind by the swarm of tears turning my vision fuzzy.
I didn’t stop. Not when I got to the double doors to the parking lot, finding the skies pouring their tears, too. I didn’t stop until I was safely in my car, because I’d changed my mind. There was no way I could face today.
“Maisie?”
I stirred at the sound of my name, blinking my eyes open to find my mother leaning over me. She wore her usual Center Inspire attire—a beige pantsuit with a pair of dark heels. Water droplets had bled onto the shoulders of the fabric, and her hair glistened with the rain.
“Mom?” My voice came in a bleary murmur. “What are you doing home?”
“I left my cell phone,” she answered, and raised his eyebrows at my reclined figure on the couch. “But I could ask you the same thing. Why aren’t you in school, young lady?”
Though she’d tacked onyoung lady, the words weren’t strict or upset. If anything, there was more concern in her voice. “I wasn’t feeling good.”
She placed the back of her hand against my forehead, a definiteMommove. “You aren’t very warm, but I know you didn’t sleep well.” When I gave her a questioning look, she said, “You left your door open, and I could hear you tossing and turning all night.
