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I settled with making a face at him. “No wonder you’ve had so many girlfriends. You think someone’s trying to come onto you when they’re being nice.”
He laughed, but instead of coming closer, he showed me palms. They were smeared with spackling, too. “How about I wash this off and we split it?”
It was decided. Reed ducked into the bathroom across the hallway of my bedroom while I went into the kitchen to grab forks, blood doing a strange dance to the techno beat of anxiety.It’s just cake, I reasoned with myself.I mean, we probably could eat it in the kitchen. I should tell him we need to eat it in the kitchen.
And I would’ve, except when I returned with the forks, Reed was already sitting on my bedspread with the cake box open on his thigh.
“You’re lucky,” he said when he looked up at me. “Any second longer and I would’ve dug in with my hands.”
“Uncivilized,” I scolded, fighting a stupid grin. He had one leg pulled up on the bed, and I sat cross-legged beside him, close but not too close.
Reed dug into the chocolate frosting first, scooping up the little chocolate chips pressed into the side. With it balanced on his thigh, I was careful not to tip it over when I got my small bite.
“So, your date,” Reed said around his piece of cake, already analyzing his next forkful. “Who was it with?”
“Josh Geller.” I studied his expression, but recognition didn’t flare. “Rachel introduced us the other day. After school.”
“Did you kiss him?”
“You’re as bad as your sister.”
“Hate to break it to you, but I’m totally invested now,” he said, casting me a smile. It was one of his normal, nonchalant ones, like he was truly unbothered. “Rachel might’ve set you up with him, but I’m over here waiting for my caterpillar to turn into a butterfly.”
I went to break off another piece, but Reed blocked my fork with his, getting it first. “I’ve already turned into a butterfly.” My cheeks felt hot, hot, hot, but I forced myself to look at him. I wouldn’t shy away from it. Fromhim. “Remember?”
Reed’s gaze was warm, but it had me fighting a shiver. The way he watched me now was too reminiscent of the night we kissed. I drew in a breath, but I shouldn’t have; it smelled likehim.
He ducked his head toward the cake box, and as soon as there was a break in the connection, everything logical flooded back.Rachel. Josh. Cindy. He kissed her—he’s going to homecoming with her.
“You’re home alone a lot.” Reed glimpsed around my bedroom. “Do you ever go to your dad’s?”
“I haven’t yet. I don’t even know what apartment complex he’s at.”
“You haven’t seen him since he left, then?”
Like Rachel had done earlier, he didn’t look at me when he spoke. This time, I was thankful for it. I understood my best friend a little better now. It was easy to talk about hard stuff when eye contact wasn’t involved. “We’ve texted here and there. Enough that it doesn’t feel like he completely abandoned me.” The last line unwound itself from the tangle of my thoughts and slipped out, causing my skin to flush. “I mean, of course he didn’t abandon me. Not like…not like—”
“It’s okay,” Reed said. “I don’t have the market cornered on dads who walk out.”
We lapsed into a cake-eating silence, each of us taking smaller and smaller bites to get the piece to last longer. I scraped as much of the frosting as I could off the bottom, even though that was my least favorite part.
“My mom…” I began, and despite the chocolate cake, the words tasted bitter. “She’s behind on some of her bills. Apparently, all of them are coming due at once. I’m afraid—” This time, I cut myself off, unwilling to speak the words aloud.
I could feel Reed looking at me. “Afraid…?”
“I guess I’m afraid she’ll do something drastic.”
He didn’t ask me what I meant, even though it could’ve been so many things.Drastic. In my head, there was only one terrible choice for her to pick: selling the house. Mom talking on the phone with Lindsey was still crystal clear in my memory.
But that’s why you took the job from Mr. Manning, my brain reminded me, trying to soothe the storm before it brewed inside me.It’ll all be okay once that’s finished. Hang in there.
Reed readjusted his grip on the Styrofoam container, and then, after switching his fork to his other hand, he touched his fingers to where mine were on the bedspread between us. The tentative touch felt more like a whisper at first, a hesitation, like he expected me to jolt away. Quite the opposite happened, really—I didn’t move.
I stilled, but I didn’t shut up. “You know what my dad told my mom?” I finally looked up at Reed. “That he regretted marrying so young. That he couldn’t shake the thought that he wanted to experience life without her. That he wished he’d dated around more before her.”
Reed’s long lashes swept down across his cheekbones in a slow blink, like he took the blow of the words. “That’s…brutal. Seriously.”
“That’s why I wanted to kiss you. Or kisssomeone. Someone I could get it out of the way with. To get the early relationships out of the way, I guess. After putting so much pressure on the kiss, I was afraid I’d get too swept up in it. And now, I won’t ever wonderwhat if.” I chuckled a little, one that absolutely lacked any trace of humor, and looked at the cake box. Only a little sliver remained. “I think it’s good that you date around a lot. Truly. You’ll never have to wonder ‘what if’ either.”
