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I wasn’t sure the atmosphere could get any more awkward. Truly. The tips of Josh’s ears were consumed with red, as obvious as a shout.One of those people. For the first time since starting Babble, I felt embarrassed.
I took advantage of the lull in conversation. “Can I hitch a ride with you?” I asked Reed, picking up my backpack where I’d left it against the wall. “That way Josh doesn’t have to drive all the way into town.”
Reed gave me a nod, and we made our way to the garage. They’d left the garage door open, and as soon as I stepped down onto the concrete floor, I could see where Reed had parked in their sloping driveway.
Cindy wrapped her arms around Reed’s neck and pulled him in close, and before I had a chance to turn away, I could see how firmly they pressed together. She was touchy-feely, but then again, could I really blame her?
As she coasted her hand up his back, I realized yes, yes, I could.
Josh slid his hands into his pockets and hovered on the threshold of the side door, tapping his socked feet. “Well, uh…I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”
This was the moment I’d been prepping for, coming to pass in an almost ironic way. Josh was looking down at me a little tense, on the balls of his feet as if he were thinking the same as me. As if at any moment, one of us was going to lean in for a quick goodbye kiss. A quickclose your eyes and pucker your lipsof a moment.
But Reed was already pulling back from Cindy and she was pressing her mouth against his, and every past instance where I’d dodged kisses came rushing to the forefront of my mind. Like when Levi Trevino tried kissing me after a basketball game last year, and I leaned away at the last second. Or in the ninth grade, when Michael Christianson leaned in during a slow song and I ended up stomping on his foot. Even all the way back to Cameron. The fluttery, anticipatory moment had risen several times, but I could never follow through.
Except only once.
I stepped backward from Josh, heart racing as if I were about to pass out. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
By the time I settled into the passenger’s seat of the Manning Twins’ shared car, my brain ran a mile a minute, flooded with unease and anger and relief and all the emotions in between. I didn’t kiss Josh, but Reed kissed Cindy, and the whirlwind ofsomethingtasted bitter in my mouth.
Not betrayal. Not jealousy. Definitely not either of those.
There was no ignoring the tip of a dagger pressing into my chest, though, not when the pain was so piercing. Not when my fingers still trembled where they were pinned underneath my thighs.
It wasn’t until we were down the road that the ticking timebomb finally detonated, and I snapped. “It wasn’t cool that you showed.”
Reed glanced over as if to confirm that, yes, my glacial tone had been directed at him. “What do you mean? I was invited, same as you.”
“But you knew I’d be there. What I was there trying to do.”
“You mean kiss Josh?” Reed pulled his visor down, glaring into the sun. “You still could’ve, Paparazzi.”
“Not with an audience! I’m not likesome peoplewho are so willy-nilly with their kisses.”
“She kissed me, for the record—”
“Oh, like you would’ve objected if she’d asked! You don’t object if anyone asks, right?”
“Which part are you mad at? The fact that I showed up or the fact that I kissed Cindy?”
I swallowed my answer, swallowed the truth, because his question was a strike-anywhere match, nearly producing a flame. “Why didn’t you tell me that Cindy was Josh’s sister, anyway? Don’t you think someone should’ve told me that?”
“They’re step-siblings, first of all. Second, I didn’t even know Josh existed until he transferred this year. I only just found out myself.”
But even then, that gave him so much time to have saidsomething. And it didn’t answer my whole question. “Does Rachel know?”
“I told you, twin-telepathy isn’t a thing. I don’t know what she knows.”
I tugged my hands through my hair, fingers getting knotted up in the dyed and split ends. “Cindy inviting you—is that the only reason you came?”
Reed squeezed the steering wheel, not looking over. “What other reason would there be?”
He was everywhere, a looming figure that just when I’d stopped thinking about him, he’d pop up. Stealing my attention and scrambling my thoughts. I’d seen more of him in the past two weeks than I had in years. Maybe I was more aware of him now, but there was no ignoring him, not when he wasn’t ignoring me.
“Is that why you were pushing me to get closer to Josh?” I asked Reed, turning to face his profile. He had his jaw clenched, eyes squinting at the brightness. “Because you were trying to pawn me off on your girlfriend’s little brother? Because you were worried I was still thinking about what happened with us?” My words came in an undammed flow, like someone had shattered a glass fish tank, the shards biting as water poured out. As soon as I’d said it, too, I realized how true it rang. “So, I’d forget about our kiss?”
Reed drew in a slow breath, shoulders rising and falling with the soft sigh. He started braking for a stop sign, and when he spoke, his voice sounded completely normal, as if it were an honest question. “What kiss?”
