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“No. It’s something else.”
He waited for me to elaborate. When I didn’t, he said, “Alright. I’ll do your lead-in once we wrap up, and then I’ll shoot it over to you.” My throat felt so dry that it was tough to swallow, but I nodded and tried to concentrate on calming the hell down.
Pretty soon, the blinding studio lights went up, and a pair of makeup artists rushed around doing final touch-ups. Then it was showtime.
This opening segment was ten minutes long. The three hosts were all older veterans of the game, while the other guest commentator and I represented the younger generation of former players. Most of the discussion centered around a promising young quarterback who’d been making his mark this season. I was pretty surprised that I was able to contribute to the discussion, given how nervous I was.
The time flew by, and then Gary said, “Before we go to commercial, Hudson Royce has an exclusive announcement. Hudson, what would you like to share with our viewers?”
I shifted my gaze to a camera zooming in for a closeup and took a breath. I could still bail out. I could talk about how great the season was, or I could wish everyone a Happy New Year or something.
But no. I had a job to do. This was for Kel and Noah. It was for me too, and it was important.
“Thank you, Gary,” I said, as I linked my hands on the desktop to stop them from shaking. “Most of you know me, and you certainly know my dad, Terry Royce. What I’m about to say is going to come as a surprise to him, and I’d actually like to speak to him directly for a moment.”
I paused before saying, “Dad, all my life, I’ve looked up to you, and I’ve tried to make you proud. You had a lot of opinions about who I should be, and what my life was supposed to look like, and I really tried to live up to your expectations.
“But by doing that, I had to hide who I really am. The thing is, I’m gay. I’ve known it since I was a kid. I’m also in love and in a relationship with two men.” I could hear an audible gasp among the crew. Coming out as gay was one thing, but coming out as poly was another thing entirely.
I took another breath and continued, “I know this isn’t the life you imagined for me, Dad. But here’s the thing—I’m happy, really, truly happy, and that has to count for something. I feel incredibly lucky to have met and fallen in love with not one but two extraordinary, kind, and amazing individuals, and I can’t wait to build a life with them.
“Dad, I know it’ll take you some time to process this, but once you do, I hope you reach out to me. I’d love it if you and Mom continue to be a part of my life, but I’ll be fine no matter what.”
The stage manager began counting down silently to the commercial break, and I brought it home by saying, “Finally, to my boyfriends, I want to tell you I love you, and I’m sorry this took me so long. I was always so scared of what would happen if people found out my secret, but I’m not afraid anymore. Thanks for loving me unconditionally and teaching me how to love myself.” I smiled at Kel and Noah through the camera, and then the light switched from green to red and the “on air” sign went dark.
There was stunned silence in the studio as I removed my earpiece and mic and placed them on the desk. Then I got up and turned to the show’s hosts, who were staring at me. “Have a great New Year, guys,” I said, before walking off the set.
I loosened my tie and unfastened my shirt’s top button as I hurried down the hall to my dressing room. As soon as I stepped through the door, Kel and Noah tackled me in a hug, and Kel exclaimed, “Holy crap, Sonny, I can’t believe you did that!”
“It was epic,” Noah added. “Way to come out loud and proud!”
“Like I said, I owed it to both of you, and to myself.”
Kel asked, “Why’d you decide to do it on the air? That must have been terrifying!”
“I wanted to come out once, not over and over—to my dad, my mom, my aunts and uncles, my former teammates—you get the idea. Now, we should get out of here. This story might blow up, and I don’t want to get cornered here in the TV studio. I’ve said what I wanted to say, and I really don’t want you two to become the center of a media circus. That’s why I purposely didn’t use your names when I was on the air, to try to protect your privacy.”
“I really don’t care about a media circus,” Kel said, “and I think what you did was important. There are still so many queer kids out there who are afraid to leave the closet, and they needed to see this. There might be some people in poly relationships, too, who’ve never seen themselves represented.”
“I totally agree,” Noah said. As he grabbed my garment bag and slung it over his arm, he asked, “Out of curiosity, did you charter a private plane so we wouldn’t have to deal with a lot of nosy people at the airport?”
I nodded, and Kel asked, “Why didn’t you tell us you were going to do this? We could have tried to provide some moral support.”
“I was afraid I’d chicken out, or that the producer wouldn’t give me the air time, and I really didn’t want to disappoint you,” I admitted.
Kel cupped my cheek and smiled at me as he said, “You did so good, Sonny, and I’m incredibly proud of you.”
“Thanks. I’m pretty proud of myself, too.” My phone vibrated, and I pulled it from my pocket and glanced at the screen. I had it set to alert me whenever my name came up on social media, and yup, there it was. I shut the phone off and put it away again as I said, “As predicted, the story’s already starting to explode. We should go.”
When we stepped into the hallway, we found it was buzzing with people, and a guy with a TV camera was hurrying toward us. The three of us were so giddy with excitement that we couldn’t help but laugh, and we joined hands and took off running toward the exit. Then we threw the door open and burst into the sunlight.
As we jumped into the waiting limo, I called to the driver, “To the airport, and please hurry! We’re ready to go home.” The man gave me a little salute in the rearview mirror, and then he started to drive.
Noah snuggled in on my left, Kel on my right, and Kel asked, “How do you feel, Sonny?”
“As if the biggest weight has been lifted off,” I said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this happy and optimistic. I can see our entire future stretched in front of us like an open road, and there’s not a single thing standing in our way.”
My boyfriends snuggled closer, and Noah told us, “I see it, too.”
Kel grinned and nodded in agreement. “So do I, and it promises to be a hell of a ride.”
The End
