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His arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me. “It’s rare for our kind to conceive, and when we do, it rarely makes it to term, and giving birth is especially dangerous, due to blood loss… I lost you that night, and Emilia followed you in death not long after.”
A pain so sharp sank into my chest. Emilia hadn’t survived? The room spun for a moment, and I tried so desperately to imagine a babe who’s cry was the only thing I knew. I didn’t even know what she looked like. But I remembered the desire to hold her, to kiss her; experiences that had been taken from me. It was difficult to comprehend how something that had happened over a hundred years ago could affect me so freshly… but it did, and the pain was so raw that I feared I’d carry it with me for the rest of my life.
The words he’d spoken about losing a mate came to my mind. The way he’d explained it, he knew it not just from others, but from his own experience of grief and loss.
“After that, I struggled to go on. To lose a mate not once, but three times, and at the same time to lose a child? You can’t verbalize that kind of pain. I lost myself in the grief.”
His words took root in my mind. Mate. I was… the reincarnation of his mate. I struggled to absorb that realization. Was that why I’d always felt drawn to him? My heart raced at the thought that I was meant for him, that he… he was meant for me. At the same time, it throbbed, aching with the pain he was reliving. My eyes lifted to him, and I held his hand, trying to offer any comfort I could.
“Completely incomplete, feeling as if you’ll never feel whole again.” He inhaled a deep, uneven breath. “I almost ended it many times.”
The weight of those words was heavy, and not just because it hurt to imagine the pain he’d suffered, but because I too had found my way into that deep dark place before. There had been times I myself had almost ended it, but in this moment, no matter how much I’d suffered at Marcus’ hand, I was glad that I didn’t.
Otherwise, I would have never met Damien, would have never experienced this happiness that consumed me.
“I waited for you to return to me like you always did, but year after year passed with no sign of your rebirth. I began to lose hope, afraid that something might have happened to break the chain of reincarnation." A gentle smile lit his expression when he looked to me again. "You don’t know how much it meant for me to see your face the day we met.”
I smiled, reaching out to touch him, and he took my hand, kissing my palm.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“You’re human. You had a life before I met you. I didn’t want to force a bond on you like that, especially when you’d barely learned what I was, that our world even existed. I wanted to give you the choice. I’d almost hoped you would turn me down, so I could let you live your life away from this misery. When you didn’t turn me down, it gave me such joy, to have you in my life, even if you didn’t remember. I began to wonder if your memories would ever resurface. Even if they didn’t, just the fact that I could see your face, hear your voice. It was enough for me.”
“You… gave me a choice.”
He nodded.
I pushed myself up to kiss him. “I’m glad you didn’t erase my memory.”
He smiled, and a thought crossed my mind. Elena. Lucia. Two lives. “You mentioned I lived three past lives. I saw Elena and Lucia; who was the third?”
“Moira. She was the first. Selene will tell you more about her. Come on.” He kissed my hand once more before standing.
“Selene will have more answers for you. She’ll be able to explain it better than I can.” Damien led me down the hall to a door I hadn’t been through yet. It revealed stairs leading into what looked like a basement. As he led me down the stairwell, I came to realize that it wasn’t a basement at all.
Candles came to life in the dark stone room. Dark blue flames danced on the wicks, and I could suddenly see everything. An altar stood at the front, runes and symbols carved into the stone walls around it. I recognized them as the same that decorated my sword, that marked Damien’s shoulder.
“What’s all this?”
“The Propylaea,” he explained, walking toward what appeared to be some sort of alter. He turned back to me then, extending his hand. “Come.”
I frowned, but stepped over to him, placing my hand in his. He knelt, motioning for me to do the same. “It’s ok. Close your eyes and clear your mind. Don’t let go of my hand though, no matter what.”
He turned his face forward, closing his eyes. I turned to face the same way, wondering what was about to happen. There was something in the air, an odd feeling that someone or something was watching us. While I knew I didn’t see anyone in the room when we entered, I could feel their presence, whoever they were. We weren’t alone here.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
22
Cold air rushed over me, similar to the sensation when Damien passed us through his shadow magic. As quickly as the chilled air surrounded us, it washed away, leaving summer air in its place. The delicate scent of jasmine replaced the damp smell of the underground room we’d stood in just moments before.
Damien squeezed my hand. “You can open your eyes now.”
I failed to breathe when I saw what lay before me. Monstrous stone columns reached to high ceilings around us. Bountiful arrays of night-blooming jasmine stretched out, clinging to the stone columns. Between them, as if the temple was built around them, stood the most magical trees I’d ever seen in my life. There were no leaves, the branches bare, but the very bark of the trees was pale, almost white, the trees glowing like the moon, stretching higher and higher. My eyes widened.
The ceiling was cast in darkness, and it was as if the night sky was trapped within the chambers, the stars glowing and shimmering above us. Dim, rippling light fell from large sconces that extended out from each column, blue flames blazing and dancing around us.
I looked to Damien as he rose to his feet. He was dressed differently. A black robe of delicate fabric hung from his shoulders, his chest bare, and he wore black pants that hugged him down to his bare feet. I sucked in air as I noticed the sleeve of what I, myself, was wearing.
