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I quickly explained the information we found out and what Eli and I believed our parts of the prophecy to be. We couldn’t be sure, but at least we had something to go on. That seemed to be the story of our lives lately.
“What do we do now?” Halley asked, glancing at each of us.
“We spend the night here and then tomorrow; we try to go home.” Knox responded and the plan was set.
? ? ?
Instead of pitching tents in the woods, we all decided to sleep inside the library, knowing we were safe from intruders, in case Jay came back with more attackers. No one else could enter, Kalani being the only key in existence. As the night descended on us, everyone quietly sat around the library, doing their own things.
Kalani and Maeve were huddled underneath one of the sprawling trees, dozens of books open before them, reading through the texts as if they could absorb all the information. Occasionally, they would call out a question about what they read, either Knox or Madden answering. Madden had lots of answers about the Shifters, but Knox seemed to be a walking history book half the time, clearly paying more attention in classes than I ever had.
When Knox wasn’t answering questions, him and Eli were chatting together, laughing and smiling with the comfortability of a deep friendship. Halley sat next to them, Eli keeping his hands on her even as she seemed to be in her own world. Her eyes were dazed, looking off into nothing, lost in her own mind. After the information Jay had dropped on her about her parentage, I’m sure she was struggling to come to terms with her past.
Madden sat near me, the two of us silently watching the room and I couldn’t stop the thoughts running through my head. I had purposely ostracized myself from the rest of the world, keeping to myself to avoid the pain of feeling. And yet, as I saw how happy Knox and Eli were together, how content Maeve and Kalani were, their heads bent together, how Eli comforted Halley even when she was lost, I envied them.I wanted that.What was it worth, avoiding the pain of feeling, when the pain of being alone seemed so much worse?
Glancing at Madden, I wondered if he ever felt the same. He had the pack at Willow Grove, but besides that, he was alone as much as I was. Before Halley at least. Now, it seemed that he was ingraining himself into their lives, even spending time with the others. Maybe I should be doing that too. Opening myself up. Allowing others into my life.
Madden caught me looking at him, and frowned my way. I realized I was frowning as well, just the two assholes sitting in a corner with frowns on our faces. But as his lips curled into a smirk, I returned the small gesture, wondering if this was the first step to opening up.
“My mom will freak when I tell her about what’s happening.” Madden said and I appreciated the olive branch, wondering if he could see my internal struggle.
“You have a big family?” I wondered, not sure how else to respond. It was slightly embarrassing how difficult conversing was when I wasn’t actively trying to be an asshole.
“Just mom and some little brothers. The oldest of them will be shifting this year.” I imagined younger versions of Madden and wondered what kind of strong woman was able to raise multiple of him.
“You have no family.” Madden’s gruff statement caught me off guard and I furrowed my brows. I never talked about Dad. I didn’t want anyone’s pity, I pitied myself enough.
Even though it wasn’t a question, I nodded anyways. “I lost my dad when I was young. Hunters.” Even though the Hunters were now dead, I couldn’t contain the bitterness in my words. I would always harbor hatred for the people that took my best friend from me.
“Can’t imagine if my mom died. Can’t relate to you about it either. But I think someone could. Maybe they need someone to relate to them too.”
I followed Madden’s wandering gaze, landing on Halley’s forlorn face. Not only had she learned her father was a murdering bastard, but she was back in the place she had actually watched her mother die. And maybe Madden was right. Maybe it was time for both of us to talk about that loss. As I stared at Halley, her eyes locked with mine, sadness swimming in them, and I knew that if anyone would ever understand me, would know the entirety of me, it would be the beautiful woman I kept trying to push away.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Halley
Eli’s laughter shook against my side, his fingers clasped with mine, comforting me as much as he could. Him and Knox were trading stories, talking about their families and other mundane things. And even though the conversation was simple, I wholeheartedly wished that I could participate. That my life had been mundane and I could connect with them. As Eli started another story, I stood up, intending to wander around the library and clear my head. Eli and Knox both gazed at me with concern, but I smiled gently at them both, reassuring them that I was okay. And I was. I just needed to get away for a bit.
Walking past Kalani and Maeve, I smiled at them both, before wandering up the stairs, my hand smoothing against the railing made entirely of smooth wood. I couldn’t help but imagine Agrum Di Vinum as I took in the quiet library, the moonlight shining through the glass windows, wondering if that world imitated this small piece of the Divine’s past.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The quiet voice came from behind me, the voice usually tinged with disdain, soft in a way I had only heard a few times before.
“It makes me wonder what life would have been like there. How much more magical it would have been.” I murmured, my eyes tracing the vines interspersed between the books.
“With everything happening, I wonder that too. Wonder if my dad would still be alive if we had grown up there.”
Wilder’s words had me turning towards him, shocked by the vulnerable statement. Shocked that I had been thinking the same thing. That maybe if things had been different, if our people had never left Agrum Di Vinum, then Mom and I would have had a wonderful life, where she would have been able to see me grow up.
“Your dad died?” I questioned, wanting to hear his story. Wanting to know why he always looked at others with a mix of loathing and longing.
Nodding his head, Wilder stepped closer to me, not quite invading my space, but bringing his presence closer.
“I was young. He was a part of the Guard; I admired him for that a lot. I always knew he could encounter Hunters, but I never thought he wouldn’t make it back home. Until one day, he didn’t.” Taking a deep breath, Wilder leaned against the shelving, before continuing. “I remember getting home from school and walking into an empty house. I thought he was running late. And then it was dinnertime and I made some cereal, the only thing I knew. And then the night was dark and he still wasn’t home. I went to sleep, knowing he’d be there in the morning. But then my neighbors knocked on the door in the morning and took me to their house. I knew he wasn’t coming home them.”
Sitting down, processing his words, I swallowed thickly. All I could imagine was a young boy, waiting and waiting for his dad, his protector, to come home. And my heart ached, because I knew how it felt to know they were never coming back.
“For the first few months, I would wake up every morning, forgetting. Thinking that he would be in the kitchen when I walked in, waiting for me with a smile.”
