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“You can tell me anything,” I reassure him, giving his hand a quick squeeze before I go greet the customers.
A few hours later and we’ve closed the store for the night, walking over to the cafe that’s on campus, not too far from the bookstore. Leon is mopey, constantly on his phone texting someone, and I wonder which one it is.
Lani or his new mystery man?
I’d be texting Knox right now, but he’s at practice, so there’s no point. We have an unspoken agreement that we get together almost every night. Unless he’s traveling for a game.
Leon and I order, get our drinks and find a tiny table nestled in the corner of the café. It’s quiet, not a lot of people are here, and mostly everyone’s orders are to go, which is preferable. That gives us more privacy for Leon to speak freely.
“So where did you meet this guy?” I decide to get right to it.
“My art history class. He impressed me with his knowledge of Renaissance art.” Leon sighs. “I’m such a sucker for an intellectual.”
I smile. “You guys started out as friends?”
“Yeah. We partnered up for a class project and it turned into us moving on from class partners to friends. I’ve done nothing else,” he says when I part my lips, ready to ask him if he’s crossed any lines. “But he knows my relationship with Lani hasn’t been the best for the last couple of months. I’ve confided in him a lot lately, and he’s admitted he’s attracted to me.”
“Did you admit you’re attracted to him?”
Leon shakes his head. “I can’t. It feels like I’m cheating on Lani, but I am attracted to him. It’s so difficult.” He takes a big swig from his to-go cup, making a face. “Shit, that’s hot.”
“Have you told Lani how you feel?”
“We’ve been fighting pretty much nonstop for the last two weeks, so yeah. She knows how I feel, just like I know how she feels too. Yet neither of us can seem to pull the trigger,” he admits.
“Maybe one of you should, if all you’re doing is fighting lately. That can’t be healthy. It doesn’t sound like it’s working.” Though no one can tell you when you’re ready to break up with someone. That has to come from within you.
“It’s scary though, you know what I mean? I still love Lani. We used to have a lot of fun together, but that was a while ago now.” Leon hangs his head, miserable. “Ending a relationship with someone you’re comfortable with is…terrifying.”
That he says the word comfortable and doesn’t mention that he’s still madly in love with Lani is telling.
“I definitely know.” I think of Bryan and how I knew we weren’t working out, yet I was afraid to call it quits. It was tough to admit to myself that we were over, but deep down, I knew it, long before it actually happened.
Then Bryan came along and ended it for both of us, confessing that he’d met someone else. And while I knew we were over, it was still devastating to hear he’d moved on to another woman.
Poor Lani. She’s going to struggle, and there’s nothing I can do for her. We’re not that close and besides, my loyalty lies with Leon. I’ll be there for him no matter what.
“Does your new friend understand your situation and what’s going on?”
“I’ve confided in him a lot, which I know isn’t the smartest move, but he was there when I was really going through it, and he could tell I was troubled. He asked me what was wrong and I completely unloaded on him. He offered up some pretty solid advice, and listened when I needed someone, you know? He’s a great person. I don’t want to lose my chance with him.” The pleading look in Leon’s gaze tells me so much.
He knows what he needs to do. Now he has to work up the courage and actually do it.
“You’ve got this. You’re going to make the right choice.” I smile at him in encouragement.
Leon takes a long sip of his coffee before sending me a pointed look. “I need to ask you a question.”
“What?” Apprehension fills me.
“What’s going on with you and Natalie?”
Oh shit.
At one point during our sophomore year, when Leon wasn’t with his girlfriend yet, we spent a lot of time together, the three of us. We went to parties. Studied in the library together. We even had a class together, and it was a lot of fun. Then Leon got together with Lani and he didn’t spend as much time with us, which we totally understood.
I sort of forgot Leon and Natalie were good friends too.
“She got mad at me about a month ago and things haven’t really been the same.” I rub at my chest, hating how empty I feel at that admission.
