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Chapter 7
Beth sat at her workbench and stared at the small piece of silver she was currently filing. She was in the process of making a pendant, but she couldn’t quite get the right shape. To make things worse, her brain was still fuzzy and her stomach was starting to roil once again.
She’d gone home when Indigo had arrived at the gallery at lunchtime, then had a shower before determinedly trying to push everything out of her head and have a nap.
But her brain wouldn’t let her sleep.
You’re a coward, it said.You know what this is and you’re going to have to do something about it.
Beth put the piece of silver down on the workbench and stared at it.
It was true. No matter how much she wanted to hide, she couldn’t, not from this. And there was only one way to be sure she was really pregnant and that was to take a test. But the thought of going into Bill’s and asking him if he had any pregnancy tests…
Ugh. She could only imagine the gossip that would spread, since gossip was Bill’s lifeblood, and the very last thing she wanted was everyone knowing. There would be questions about who the father was and that would drag Finn into it.
He’s going to be dragged into it whether you like it or not.
Yes, but only if the pregnancy was a viable one. It might not be. So surely it was better to leave him out of it until everything was certain?
No, she couldn’t get a test from Bill’s. She’d have to get one from somewhere and the most logical place for that was Queenstown, which was the closest large town. Except Queenstown was two hours away by car, so not exactly the place for a quick trip.
You could, of course, keep on pretending everything’s great, the way you always do.
Beth let out a soft breath, put her file down, and shut her eyes.
She could pretend. That had gotten her through in the past. And sometimes, if you kept pretending long and hard enough, eventually the pretense became the reality. Could she do that with this though? After what had happened the last time?
So much for your brand-new life.
Her eyes stung, a sick fear tightening its grip.
She’d lost her first baby. A little girl, born far, far too early. And afterward she’d fallen into a depression so bleak and black it felt like being trapped at the bottom of a cold, dark lake with the weight of the water pressing down on her.
Postpartum depression without a baby and it had nearly destroyed her. Troy hadn’t been able to deal with it and had left, and her parents had been no help. “Just like your mother,” her father had said. “Crying about it doesn’t help. Pull yourself together and get on with it.” Then he’d absented himself the way he always did when things were hard.
So that’s what she’d done. She’d pulled herself together and gotten herself out of that pit on her own—with the help of Deep River’s doctor, medication, and her newfound interest in jewelry making. And a determination within herself never to fall into that pit again.
Which was why she was here. To get as far away from it as possible.
Except now it had followed her.
Dear God, what a mess.
“Beth?” The voice was deep, male, and came from the doorway.
Sucking in a sharp breath, she turned her head.
Standing in the entrance of the corrugated iron shed that currently housed her jewelry workshop and Indigo’s dyeing operation was Finn Kelly, because of course it was Finn Kelly. Who else would it be? Who else could possibly make this situation even more difficult? And naturally he hadn’t taken her at her word earlier today when she’d told him she was fine. No doubt he was here to check on her, which would then mean her having to lie.
She certainly couldn’t tell him the truth, not yet. Not when she could barely cope with it herself, let alone having to deal with him as well. Besides, pregnancies were precarious, as she of all people knew.
It was barely a month from conception and nothing could be counted on until at least three months after that date.
And not even then.
No. Not even then.
Her hand crept to the curl of silver at her throat, her fingers closing around the warm metal, the feel of it sitting in her palm reassuring.
