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And before she could say anything else, he pushed past her and headed back to the house.
Chapter 12
Beth stood for a moment in the doorway of the gorgeous little cabin, watching Finn’s tall figure stride back up the path to the house.
Her chest hurt, the warmth she’d felt the moment she’d stepped out of the truck and seen him standing on the deck waiting for her ebbing.
She’d loved his house, loved how it was full of light, how all the furniture was simple yet so comfortable looking, and that it was full of lots of different books and magazines and all sorts of other things a man with a curious mind might collect. She loved the kitchen with the beautiful, dark-golden cabinets Finn had made himself and obviously with a great deal of care and thought.
She loved this little cabin too, her heart instantly leaping at the sight of the wide desk and all the shelves and places to put things, and the magnificent view through the big windows.
But part of her also knew from the moment she’d stepped inside that this wasn’t Finn’s area. It was empty, for a start, and there were was something about it that made it feel like a more feminine space than masculine.
Then he’d said it was his wife’s cabin, where she did her art.
That had felt like a punch to the gut, not so much it having been his wife’s as the expression on his face when he’d said it. Hard. Fixed. A muscle in his jaw leaping, his mouth a carved line. His eyes had been so dark, no light in them whatsoever, just the raw edge of grief.
Of course. This was the house he’d lived in with Sheri, and here he was showing another woman around it. Another woman pregnant with his child.
Her heart ached. Because it was clear that though he hadn’t wanted her to take the cabin and was deeply uncomfortable showing it to her, he’d brought her here anyway. Why? And why had he offered for her to move in? When it was still painful for him?
It’s the baby he wants, not you.
The ache inside her deepened, though not for herself, because she already knew he didn’t want her—not like that. They didn’t have that kind of relationship anyway, which was something they’d agreed on. They weren’t together and she wasn’t disappointed about that, not when she didn’t want anything more either.
What was clear was that they needed to talk about it. She didn’t want her presence here to hurt him and if that really was the case, then obviously she couldn’t move in. She wasn’t his wife, and she didn’t want him to feel as if she was taking Sheri’s place.
Beth looked around the cabin, feeling the warmth and the welcome in it. The good energy that lingered in the air.
“Don’t worry,” she murmured. “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”
Then she stepped back out again and walked back up the white-shell path to the deck.
Finn was standing in the middle of the living area, his back to the windows, his posture rigid. Karl had gotten up off his cushion and was nosing into Finn’s hand, clearly picking up on the emotional tension in the air and wanting to offer his master some comfort.
Beth stepped through the doors and stood there a moment, wondering what to say that would help because she very much wanted to help.
Karl trotted over to her, gave her a sniff and licked her hand; then, as if deciding Finn was in good hands, he vanished out the door, onto the deck.
“Finn…I’m sorry,” Beth began, hesitant. “I don’t have to be here—”
“Yes, you do.” He turned around sharply, dark eyes blazing. “You’re pregnant with my child and that means you’ll live here with me.”
His deep voice was hoarse and his gaze so intense, so hot, she nearly went up in flames. But a thread of desperation ran through the words, the same desperation that burned in his eyes too.
A need gripped her to close the distance and touch him, run her hands across his tight shoulders and ease the tension in them, soothe him somehow with her presence the way he soothed her. But she got the distinct impression that wouldn’t help.
“I made this,” she said after a moment, her fingers brushing the pendant at her neck, “in the first couple of weeks I was in Brightwater. I found out what a koru was and that it stands for new life, peace, and strength. I loved the shape and the meaning, so I made myself a pendant I could wear.” She swallowed, hoping she might be able to offer him something from her own experience. “I’ve never told anyone this before, so you’re the first. I mean, I did try to tell Troy—he was my boyfriend before I came here—but he didn’t want to hear it and certainly not after he left. I…I’d picked out a name for my baby when I was first pregnant. I named her Sunny. Because she was like a little ray of sunshine in my life.” Beth closed her fingers around the pendant, her chest tight and sore. “She might not have been in my life for very long, but I was still her mother, and I didn’t want grief to be her only legacy. I didn’t want depression to be her monument either, not when her presence had made me so happy. So…that’s what I chose. I chose the happiness she gave me. I pulled myself out of that depression and I came here to find a new future for myself, one that would be more worthy of Sunny’s memory.”
There were tears in her eyes, but she blinked them back because this wasn’t about her and her own loss. This was about him and his. About how even in the depths of the black pit, there were still choices to be made and something to hold on to. Something to reach for.
She wasn’t sure if giving him a small piece of herself would help, but she couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Finn was silent, his expression taut, his dark eyes burning. Then he suddenly moved, closing the distance between them and taking her face between his hands.
She went still, her breath catching at the way he looked at her, at the desperation in his gaze. His palms were warm on her skin, his long, muscular body close, and she closed her eyes as his mouth came down, something inside her bursting into flames.
He kissed her hard, his lips hot and demanding on hers as if he’d been holding himself back too long and the leash had finally snapped and he was free. Devouring her as if he were starving and she were something delicious to eat.
