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Four Weeks Before Christmas
Angel
“My whole life has been a lie!”
Leigh, Angel’s best friend in the whole world, godmother to her daughter, sister from another mister, family by choice, not blood, did not appear impressed at her pronouncement. Cradling baby Melody—who babbled happily in the way almost one-year-olds did when they were held by someone they loved—she snorted.
“By your whole life, you mean the books in the e-reader you’re holding?” Leigh’s eyes were two different colors, one hazel brown and the other hazel green, and both of them were full of amused skepticism at Angel’s expense. “The fiction books?”
“Hey, these books got me married.” Angel brandished the bit of technology that fed her addiction. “I went to a BDSM club for the first time because of these books, which means I met Adam because of these books, and we got married and had a baby because of these books. Now, I find out they lied to me!”
Yes, she knew she was being melodramatic, which she was doing on purpose because it entertained Leigh and helped her vent some of her emotions, but she also had valid cause to complain.
“What did they lie to you about now?” Leigh asked patiently, popping Melody’s pink elephant pacifier in her mouth when the baby tried to go for Leigh’s finger. She had a few teeth coming in but already had too many to allow her to nom on body parts. They were very sharp little teeth.
A strand of curly brown hair fell in Angel’s eyes, and she made a noise of annoyance, reaching up to pull her hair back and put the ponytail holder in more firmly to keep it in place. Melody had a habit of pulling the rubber bands out, so Angel could only wear them sporadically. She was thinking about just cutting off all her hair, then it wouldn’t matter that Melody wouldn’t let her keep it in a ponytail or bun.
“My post-baby sex life.” Angel narrowed her eyes at her daughter. Sensing her mom’s attention, Melody grinned and reached out her hands, opening and closing her chubby little fists. “It was bad enough the second and third trimester when the ‘I’m so horny, let’s get it on’ stuff didn’t happen. The post-birth situation is even worse.”
“Mama!”
Okay, so having a baby had killed her libido, but the little nugget was so darn cute, Angel couldn’t be mad. Not that she was really mad exactly. Mad at her body for betraying her and at the world for not warning her, not at her nugget. Stepping forward, she lifted Melody away from Leigh, sighing as her baby snuggled in, wrapped her arms around Angel’s head, and tugged out her ponytail.
“You little stinker.” It was said with love and resignation. Melody giggled madly and waved the hair band around, but Angel didn’t try to get it back. “You only wanted me to hold that so you could pull that out, didn’t you? Didn’t you?” Melody shrieked with laughter as Angel scrunched up her nose in mock threat, giving her a little jiggle.
“She definitely did.” Leigh chuckled as Angel sat down beside her on the couch, and Melody crawled back over to her, already having lost interest in her mommy. Little stinker. Leigh’s long hair was back in a ponytail, but Melody didn’t go for her rubber band. “So, what’s this about your post-baby sex life?”
“The fact I don’t have one, and not,”—Angel shook her e-reader—“for the reasons I was led to believe! Every single book, and there are a lot of them, when there’s a baby, the heroine ready to go about six weeks after giving birth.”
“Uh-huh.” Leigh raised her eyebrows because she knew very well Angel and Adam had had sex not long after that time period, and it had hurt—just like R.L. Mathewson had warned in A Humble Heart, so Angel had been prepared for that part. The pain hadn’t been the problem. It had eased once they’d gotten going, and using lube hadn’t bothered her.
“You know what these books don’t tell you? That you might not want to have sex at all. That instead of needing to seduce your man into touching you like a woman again, there’s a thing called being ‘touched out,’ where the thought of being touched, even in a non-sexy way, makes my skin crawls when he reaches for me.” Angel pouted, going for a funny look, but the sympathy that infused Leigh’s expression said her bestie saw right through her. As usual.
When she was pregnant, she hadn’t been in the mood, but her skin hadn’t actually crawled, and she hadn’t felt the impulse to jerk away from his touch.
“That sounds hard.” Leigh tilted her head back away from Melody’s palm, which went from patting her lips to patting her chin.
“On both of us.” Angel sighed, falling back against the couch. As if sensing there was a problem, Melody fell sideways so she could crawl onto Angel’s lap, brace her feet on Angel’s thighs, hands on her shoulders, and bounce. She was so close to walking on her own at eleven months old, but not quite there yet. “He feels rejected, I feel terrible, yet there doesn’t seem much I can do about it. And when he wants to touch my boobs, it’s even worse.”
“Sensitive?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Adopting a sing-song voice, Angel leaned forward to rub her nose with Melody’s. “Somebody’s a little milk guzzler, and unlike the romances I read, my nipples aren’t sensitive in the fun way. They’re sensitive in the ‘if you try to touch them, I will rip off your fingers and shove them up your ass’ way.”
“Mamamamamamama.” As usual, Melody’s toothy grin made her feel a little better but also guiltier.
Despite being ‘touched out,’ she didn’t have the same skin-crawling issues with Melody. She loved snuggling with Melody, and when her daughter reached for her, Angel automatically reached back. Granted, she also desperately wanted a night or two away from her, but she didn’t have the same jerk reaction. Even though she knew Melody was why she was feeling touch averse.
“Is that why you chose that t-shirt today?” Leigh asked.
Glancing down, Angel giggled, which Melody immediately echoed.
Her shirt said, in big block letters, ‘NOPE. NOT TODAY.’
“I picked it cuz it’s loose, flowy, easy to pull up when Melody wants the boob, and the material is super soft and comfortable.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “That’s not to say my subconscious didn’t have ulterior motives.”
“So, what’s the problem? Is Adam upset you haven’t been feeling in the mood?”
