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He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Do we have to talk about this now? We were having such a good day.”
I narrow my eyes. “Yes, Malon,” I say. “I’ve let so many things slide when it comes to you because I’ve been taking you at your word, but it’s time that you stop being cryptic. I’m not going to defend you from the exorcists forever. The only reason they haven’t hurt you is because they know I don't want you to be hurt.”
“Oh, so if I don’t tell you, you’re going to sic your dogs on me?” He asks. I can hear the mockery in his tone, and it pisses me off. Maybe I shouldn't have trusted him in the first place.
“They aren’t my dogs,” I say. “I wont do anything, Mal. I’m just going to stop interfering for you.”
His jaw hardens. “I don't understand why it's so hard for you to believe me,” he says. “I changed sides because I started to…”
“Have feelings for me?”
He shrugs. “I was going to say like you, but sure, that works.”
“But why?” I ask. “You didn’t know me. You still dont know me.”
“I did know you, though,” he says. “I knew you were Aura Dawes’ daughter, which probably meant you were incredibly powerful and hard to tear down. And then when we first started the process, I knew you were going to be a tough one to crack. But it was so much harder than any one of us anticipated. You’re tough as nails.”
“I don't know if I should take that as a compliment.”
He shrugs. “Take it as a compliment, don't take it as a compliment, I don’t really care. As far as I’m concerned, it’s just true.”
“So you decided to switch sides because I was tough.”
“No, I decided to switch sides because I like to win,” he replies. “I was hedging my bets with you. Still am. And then later, it turns out, I did end up liking you a lot. You’re not hard to like.”
“That’s a compliment.”
He shakes his head, smiling at me. “No,” he replies. “Another statement of fact. I don’t think the exorcists have had other clients they’re as involved with.”
I laugh, despite myself. I can’t picture that, but it never occurred to me to ask.
“And the priest—that’s a work of art right there,” he says. “I know some who have been trying to get to him for years.”
The moment passes. The way he’s speaking about Luke upsets me. I dont want to think that I had anything to do with ‘trying to get to him’, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. “
“That was a compliment.”
“I didn’t want to hurt him.”
“I don’t think getting a grown man away from celibacy is hurting him,” he replies. “I’m sure he had a lot of fun.”
I swallow. “I hate that you’re in my head,” I say. “I hate that you know everything about me, everything I’ve done.”
He furrows his brow. “I thought you’d like that,” he says in a whisper. For the first time since we've started this conversation, he sounds slightly uncertain.
“Why would you think I would like that?”
“Because I know everything about you,” he says. “And I still like you.”
My mouth is suddenly dry. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Please,” he says, taking a step toward me. He looks down so that his gaze meets mine, and his eyes look like they turn from jade to seafoam green, golden sparkles in them. “I know exactly how much you beat yourself up over every single mistake you’ve ever made. I know how you see yourself. And you’re wrong, so…”
He trails off, the back of his hand on my cheek. I lean into his touch, my eyes closed, when someone knocks hard on the door.
It startles me enough that I take a step back, which makes me stumble against one of the rolling chairs. I would definitely fall if it weren’t for Malon’s quick reflexes. He extends his hand and wraps it around my wrist.
“What’s going in there?” a screechy, high-pitched voice asks. “Everything okay?”
