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I wasn’t.
I was just…ready.
Fuck, that really can’t be good. I lean my body back against the bed and stare at the ceiling, my eyes half-open as I listen to Mal and Rei talk about something softly.
I want to feel like I’m rocking softly on the bed again. I want to sleep…I don’t know how long for. Maybe it would be easier if I didn’t wake up again.
I think about that when I feel a hand wrapped around my ankle. It takes me a few seconds to realize that this is Rei and he’s attempting to be reassuring. I don’t know when he got off my office chair and started kneeling on the floor, but he’s right in front of me, concern written all over his handsome face.
He knows me well enough to worry about me.
“Trine,” he says softly. “Talk to me.”
I look down at him. “There’s nothing else to talk about,” I say. “I’m just so exhausted. I wish there was something you could say that would take my mind off this, but there isn’t. This just feels like it’s crushing me.”
He narrows his eyes. “Maybe there’s nothing I can say. But is there something I can do?”
“I don’t know what you can do,” I reply.
Rei narrows his eyes. He looks at Mal for a second. I see the reflection of the lamp on his glasses, his pupils expanding as his brown eyes darken. “I have some ideas,” he says.
Heat uncurls in the pit of my stomach. I can see the desire written all over his face, but Malon is right there and I don’t exactly want to kick him out.
I tilt my head toward Mal, trying to indicate his presence to Rei. As if he doesn’t already know that Mal is there.
“He’s not a problem for me if he’s not a problem for you,” Rei says softly.
I love his voice so much. He always sounds so sure of what he wants. Maybe he’s right. Maybe there’s nothing he can say that will help right now, but maybe he doesn’t have to say anything.
“He’s not a problem for me,” I say.
“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” Malon says, a smile in his voice. “I can just hang back and watch.”
“I don’t want you to just hang back and watch,” I tell him, my breath catching in my throat. I didn’t expect to sound as breathless as I do, but this is new. It’sdifferent. With Rei and Misha, they knew each other before we did anything. Mal and Rei hardly know each other. I can tell that Rei only puts up with Mal because it’s important to me, so I’m surprised he’s so willing to go with this.
I guess he must like me more than I thought. Or maybe he’s into Mal. Whatever, I’m not going to question this. I’m already thinking about the way Rei’s hand feels on my leg as he slides it up my skin, his fingers leaving divots on my calf.
“I’ll let him get you ready for me,” Mal says.
I think Rei is going to be angry, but he laughs instead. I watch as he inches his face close to my leg. I’m wearing shorts so my legs are bare. When he breathes against me, he nuzzles my inner thigh. His dark hair tickles me. I knot my fingers in it and watch as he presses his slightly stubbled cheek against me. There are dark circles under his eyes, his raven black hair slightly unkempt.
I feel a little bad. I’ve been so worried about myself, I haven’t really been thinking about how he’s feeling. How any of them are feeling.
I trace the outline of his face with my fingertips and he leans into my touch, his eyes closing. “I’m sorry,” I say. “This must be hard for you too.”
“Not as hard as it is for you,” he replies.
I look into his eyes when he pulls away from me. “But I…”
“It’s okay, Trine,” he says softly. “I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want you to try to make me feel better. I just want to make you feel good.”
“Do you have anything in mind?” I ask.
“I have plenty in mind,” he replies. He slowly traces his half-open mouth up my leg, his breath warm against me. He doesn’t kiss me yet, but he rakes his teeth against me until I’m shuddering at his touch.
When my grip tightens around him, I can feel the smile on his lips against my skin.
“Just sit back,” he says when he pulls away from me. “I want to make you feel good.”
