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“So the answer is that you don’t know.”
“Right.”
“What if the person who kills themself is possessed?”
“Your soul is sick,” I say. “Not evil. You aren’t going to be punished for being sick.”
She smiles, relief flooding her face. I want to throw up. She looks so…peaceful. So ready.
“Are you done now?” Rei asks her.
“No,” she says. “Not yet. Rei…”
“What?”
“You have to let everyone know that this isn’t their fault,” she says. “You have to let them know that it isn’t something they did.”
“We’re not going to let you do this,” Rei says. “I’ll watch you like a fucking hawk to make sure you don’t.”
“He’s right, Trine,” I say. “You don’t have to do this.”
She scoffs, getting to her feet. “You’re both sweet,” she says. “And you’re both wrong. I absolutely have to do this. And you can try to stop me for as long as you want, but you can’t stay around me forever. And if you try to get me committed, I’m going to get out of there again. You have lives. Jobs. Families. People who love you. You don’t get to sacrifice it all for me. That’s ridiculous. I’m not going to allow it.”
“We’re not going to let you kill yourself for no reason, Trine.”
“There’s a reason,” she says. “It’s not my fault you don’t like it. I don’t like it either. Just…promise me you’ll look after each other, okay?”
And before either of us can say anything, she walks out of the room, leaving us behind.
Not one of us saying a fucking thing to each other.
The silence settles between us like poison. And when the cat brushes past our legs, meowing as it does, my heart beats hard in my chest and my mouth tastes like ash.
REI
Iknow I made Trine a promise, but this isn’t okay. This isn’t the kind of promise that I can just keep. I want to do something, anything, that will help her out, because I’m absolutely not going to stand around while she kills herself.
I take my phone out of my pocket and call Misha. I know he’s downstairs, but I need him here. This is important. It means we need to have a meeting right the fuck now.
Misha doesn’t answer the phone. He sends me to voicemail, but I know he’s approaching me before I can hear his footsteps. I don’t expect Malon to arrive right behind him, but he does.
Misha swings the door open. “What’s wrong?” he asks. He sounds scared. His gaze scans around the room. “Where is she?”
“She’s…I don’t know where she is,” I tell him. I instantly want to run out of there.
“She’s downstairs,” Luke says. He’s by the window, looking down at the girls as they clean up. The rest of us are huddled “Just talking to them, as if everything is normal.”
“Did something happen?” Malon asks.
“I think what happened is pretty clear,” Misha says. At least he’s always been quick on the uptake. I don’t know the demon that well, but his gaze flits around the place as if he can’t decide who to focus on.
“Can one of you tell me what’s going on?” he asks. He sounds like a child.
“Trine is going to kill herself because she doesn’t see another way out,” Luke says plainly. “And we tried to stop her, we tried to reason her out of it, but there’s no way.”
“Wait,” Malon says, his brow furrowed. “She didn’t tell me…”
“She didn’t tell you because you have nothing to do with this,” I tell him. “You might be able to infiltrate her dreams, but this is a decision she made while she had all her faculties. She keeps thinking she’s only hurting the people she loves. We can’t talk her out of it, no matter how much we try.”
