Page 18 of Letting Go


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“Oh God!” My hands fisted his hair, as his tongue, teeth and lips tasted me with a thoroughness that had me coming on a scream. His hands on my thighs tightened as he continued to feast, drawing out the pleasure. He moved; the loss of his mouth caused another whimper. With an economy of moves, he stripped and watching as Brock Callahan undressed in front of me had that ache starting again. My eyes were fixed on his cock. Another groan escaped me because I wanted to feel him inside me. Reaching for him, I ran my finger down the one vein. His body tensed; his eyes closed like he was in pain. I touched the head, ran my finger over the slit, before wrapping my hand around the base, sliding it up. The sound that came from Brock had me sliding my hand back down.

He stopped my hand, his eyes on fire. “You don’t stop, I’m coming in your hand.”

It was tempting to watch him come, but I wanted him inside me. He took my silence, as it was intended, when he reached for the drawer next to his bed and pulled out a condom. Again, with quick efficient moves, he covered his cock, grabbed the base of it and centered it where I was aching; his other hand moved to behind my head, pressing into the mattress. Our eyes were locked when he pushed slowly into me.

My breath caught, and I tensed, feeling the pressure as he filled me.

“Relax, Cedar. It’ll hurt less.”

It wasn’t easy to relax, but I tried. He continued to push, reaching some resistance but pushing through it, causing a pain to rip through me. I cried out, but he kept moving, sinking into me, and only when he’d filled me, did he stop.

“Are you okay?”

I wasn’t going to lie. It stung, but it felt so good being full of him. “I’m good.”

He gave me a few seconds, but I could see what the wait was doing to him. I shifted my hips, stirring another sting of pain. This time, it was Brock who moaned. With each shift of our hips, the stinging got less, turning even pleasurable. He never took his eyes from me, as his hips picked up the pace. I knew he was getting close when his body tensed, and he pushed in deep and stopped, a moan ripping from his throat. He dropped down, his body pressing mine deeper into the mattress. His shoulders moved from the deep breaths he was trying to pull in. His head lifted.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. That was…” Only then did it dawn on me that this wasn’t his first time. I hadn’t expected it to be, didn’t need it to be, but the condoms at the bedside, how many girls had there been before me? It wasn’t the time to ask.

“I bought them last week,” he answered, my unspoken question.

I was speechless, but not for long. “How did you know I was thinking that?”

“You’re very easy to read,” he said then added, “There have been others, but not as many as you think, and none since the end of last year. Is that a problem?”

“Why would it be a problem?” I wiggled my hips. “Good practice for me.”

His expression gave nothing away and then he laughed, the sound filling the small room. “I’m going to get rid of this condom.”

“I’m hungry,” I said.

“I got leftover pizza in the fridge,” he offered, as he pulled out of me. I immediately missed the connection, pain and all.

“We need to do that again,” I said out loud what I was thinking.

He flashed me a grin. “You read my mind. Pizza first.”

“No argument here.”

I watched as Brock Callahan walked from the room, a very naked Brock Callahan. I climbed from bed and retrieved the pizza, some napkins and two bottles of water. I pulled my tee back on and was just getting back on the bed when Brock returned. And I thought him leaving the room was a sight that couldn’t be topped. God, he was beautiful.

“You keep looking at me like that, you aren’t going to be eating that pizza anytime soon.”

I dropped my eyes, but still looked at him from under my lashes. He knew, pulling his briefs on before he got on the bed next to me, and even with my mouth full of pizza, he kissed me. “We’re going to need to eat fast.” Then he kissed me again.

I was walkingthrough town on my way to the market. Brock was working, begrudgingly, because every free second we had, we snuck off and got naked. He had a job to do, so I pulled myself away, but he almost didn’t let me go.

I’d never been so happy. We had our whole lives ahead of us. We’d started looking into places in Manhattan. I’d talked to Mom and Dad; they wanted me in the dorm because they thought it would be a good experience, but they understood my wanting to be with Brock. We agreed to look into both the dorms and apartments, and the closer to fall we got, we’d all decide on which one.

I noticed the fancy car down the street right as Declan climbed out of the passenger side. I didn’t really think anything of it until Kenneth Callahan climbed from the driver seat. I stopped walking and stared. They were laughing, stepping up onto the curb of one of the more posh restaurants in town. Kenneth put his hand on Declan’s shoulder affectionately. What the hell was that all about? Declan knew about Brock’s dad, what he was like, so what the hell was he doing out with that monster?

There was camaraderie between them, like they spent time together often. Did Brock know? Not that he’d care, but Declan seemed to be playing both sides. To what end?

It didn’t matter. Brock and I were out of here in a few months, ready to start the beginning of the rest of our lives. Declan and Kenneth deserved each other.

Thanksgiving was rightaround the corner; the year was moving so quickly. We were in the library studying for midterms. Well, I was. Brock wasn’t paying attention to his book. His focus was on me.

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