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“That was great!” I said.
“I can do it again, but faster!”
“Let me see,” I said, and Noah looked up so that the two of us watched Ben together.
This was my life, and Ben was a good kid. I loved him to death. If I had to choose between a life with him and a life without him, I would choose him every time. How could I feel like I was missing out when I had him? I had to stop thinking about what I didn’t have and focus on what I had.
It wasn’t always easy when I saw how the others lived their lives, but they didn’t have what I had any more than I had what they did.
I would just keep holding onto that.
5
JADE
Iwasinhighspirits on Monday morning and ready to take on the new week. I would do my best and make Hannah proud.
Sure, I wasn’t good at my job and I screwed it up a lot, but a final warning meant I still had a chance. I’d spent the weekend reflecting on what I had and how much Hannah had helped me, and while I was doing this, I would do it to the best of my abilities.
Something had to give, and, like Olivia said, I just had to stop being so hard on myself. Panicking about what I did wrong only made me make more mistakes, which didn’t help anyone.
Yesterday, I’d come into the office, even though I never worked on weekends, and found someone who could work with Aaron and his boy. I felt good about the match, too. I’d sent off the emails to all the right people, and I was proud of myself for going the extra mile and doing something right.
“Morning,” I said brightly to Marlene, who was in the office for a change.
“I feel like we never see each other,” Marlene said. She had long brown hair so thin that her ponytail was only as thick as my finger, and everything about her was small and delicate. Everything but her attitude.
“How did last week go?” I asked. “Any new recruits I can use for the new clients?”
“Yeah, I have a few we can add as soon as Hannah approves of the files I sent her.”
“That’s good,” I said. “I got a high-profiler a match this weekend, so I feel pretty positive about the way forward.”
“It feels good to be able to help out, huh?” Marlene said.
I nodded. I didn’t know what it was, but I somehow had a soft spot for Aaron.
“Dominique is a really good au pair,” I said. “Her references are never bad.”
Marlene frowned. “Dominique McKay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “We don’t have more than one Dominique, do we?”
“We don’t have any Dominiques,” Marlene said slowly.
“What are you talking about? Dominique is––”
“No longer working forPlacement,” Marlene interrupted.
I stared at her, my stomach twisting.
“Tell me Hannah didn’t fire her.”
“She went overseas. She’s au pairing in Europe. France, I think, or Switzerland. Somewhere in the alps.”
“When did she leave!?” I cried out. Panic started in my chest, and it was getting harder to breathe. I needed Dominique to be still a nanny working atPlacementbecause I’d assigned her to Aaron’s case.
“Three months ago,” Marlene said with narrowed eyes. “We had a farewell party for her in the office that Friday, don’t you remember?”
