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I had my back to him, so maybe he couldn’t see me flush. “It was the best I could find on short notice. It felt weird going to see my expensive lawyer in the jeans and hoodie I’ve been wearing for ten weeks.”
“The lawyer’s that scary, huh?”
“Terrifying.” I took a deep swig of water, then gathered my courage to turn around and face him again. He was standing in the middle of the room, his weight on one hip, his arms crossed. I was transfixed for a second at the way a smile crooked the corner of his mouth.
“You look like you’re handling it fine,” he said.
“Really?” I put my water down. “My feet hurt, I weigh more than anyone else in this stupid city—including the men—and I can’t stop sweating. Look.” I raised my arm. My dress was short-sleeved, with a V neck and a tucked-in waist, and when I lifted my arm he could see the sweat mark on the fabric. “When I meet with my lawyer, I have to remember to keep my arms at my sides.”
Axel laughed, that good-natured sound that always put everything in perspective. He didn’t care about a couple of sweat stains. “I hope you shove that guy’s head up his own ass,” he said. “I’d pay to watch.”
“He hates me,” I said.
“Fantastic,” Axel replied. “When a guy like that hates you, you win.”
“How do youdothat? I’ve been having the worst time. I’ve been consumed with anxiety. You show up and you just say things, and they make sense.”
“I know, right?” He hadn’t taken his gaze off me. “I think it’s why you like me so much.”
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I crossed the room and grabbed the front of his shirt. At the same time, he cupped my jaw in his hands and kissed me.
It was messy and perfect, like we were on a collision path. I pressed against him, as close as I could get. He smelled like shampoo, and his beard rasped against my skin, and I’d never get enough. A minute later, I felt the wall against my back. Axel had pressed me against it. I moved one hand up his back, under his shirt, feeling the heat of his skin. With the other, I grabbed his ass, cupping a full handful of it and squeezing.
Axel broke the kiss, still pressing me against the wall. “Fuck,” he said against my mouth, his voice a rasp.
“I missed you,” I whispered back.
He kissed me again as his reply, his teeth grazing my lip and making me crazy.
Axel broke the kiss again after another long minute. He reached into his back pocket—the part of his ass I wasn’t grabbing—and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Still pinning me to the wall, he held it up. It was the letter I’d left him in New York.
“We going to talk about this?” he asked.
“Throw that away,” I said.
“No way, Brit. I’m keeping it. Want me to read it to you and remind you what it says?”
“No,” I said, but he pulled away from me, reluctantly, and I had to drop my hands. I didn’t want to let go of him.
He unfolded the paper, lifting it out of my reach when I tried to grab it from him. “I’ll read it.”
“You don’t have to. I remember what it says.”
Axel unfolded the paper. “Imagine me,” he said, “waking up that morning in New York. I’m playing Madison Square Garden with my band, and I had sex in the pool with my hot best friend, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. She didn’t say yes, but I think I can win her over. Maybe I’ll get her naked again and try to sell it. Because damn, you know? It’s very fucking hot, and she’s into it. I’m thinking of ways to up my game, because this woman is worth impressing. One of the things she’s taught me is that some women are worth working for, and she’s one of them.”
“Axel,” I said.
“I’m thinking of ways to romance her, too,” he continued, ignoring me. “Like, should I take her out to dinner? Where? We’ve gone to dinner so many times, but it’s never been a date. That’s on me. I should do that, date her properly, like a normal guy. I didn’t do that part right, and I mean to fix it.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I argued.
“I do,” he replied. “I absolutely do. That first lunch we had should have been a date, I see that now. But I’m not used to dating. And this woman, she was in a bad place when we met, and she asked me to be her friend. So I did that, the best I could. Even though I wanted to sleep with her the whole time.”
I was silent, my cheeks going red.
“Like, it was bad.” Axel shook his head. “So bad. I’m doing all this yoga and all this running to burn it off, and it’s only half working. But that’s okay, because it’s worth it to hang out with this hot woman. And I bring her on tour, and then I get her naked, and holy shit, that wasn’t what I expected. It’s out of this fucking world. My whole brain is rearranged, and I’m thinking, maybe this could work. I don’t have much going for me, but I’m clean, I’m gonna stay clean, I’ll do whatever it takes if she’ll be my girlfriend. And then I wake up and find this under my door.”
My eyes were stinging. Axel looked at the letter and read aloud.
