AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
The annoying, repetitive sound started ten minutes ago. It’s torture.Waitinghere is torture. Hell, every single minute of each hour I’ve been here has been torture.
The worst of my life.
And the scariest. By a thousand miles.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Argh. That fucking beeping noise is driving me insane.
I’m by myself and haven’t dared leave this orange vinyl chair for nearly seven hours. I’m paralyzed. Terrified. Being still isn’t in my nature. Neither is being alone. I hate it.
I hate this.
But it’s not like I have a choice. All I can do is stare through these floor-to-ceiling windows at downtown Seattle. Contemplate how much my life has imploded over the past couple of months. Wonder what’s gonna happen to me and Alex once—not if—we get through this horrific setback.
Setback? No. Loss.Anotherloss.
What is taking so fucking long? I want to rewind the clock. Start the morning over with my free-spirited, fairy-nymph badass who’s rocked my world since I was twenty-three and she was only eighteen. The woman’s been in my bloodstream for over a decade. Just like I’ve been in hers.
What would I do without her?
Right now, I’m a live wire. Vulnerable. On edge. Panicking.
Utterly and truly.
I need to focus on something else.Anythingelse.
I resume looking out at the city and can’t help but notice the condo building I used to live in is just a couple of blocks away. I bought it with the first big paycheck I received when my band, Less Than Zero, hit it big. Gawd, that’s eight years ago now? At the time, I thought I was on top of the world.
I had no idea.
The true pinnacle for me is when Alex came back into my life.
She’s not only the top of my world. She and Lena are myentireworld.
I’ve never been this close to losing everything.
Who’d have thought I’d find true peace in the outdoors? With horses. A menagerie of animals. Not me. And yet, I can’t imagine living any other way. My life is on our ranch now.That’smy home. With my little girl and my fiancée and… For fuck’s sake.Fiancée.What a stupid fucking title. Alex and I have been everything under the sun to each other. Acquaintances. Friends. Friends with benefits. Secret lovers. Madly in love. Parents. Engaged.Fuck.It’s not enough, she should be mywife.
Why isn’t she my wife?
I should have insisted long ago. Alex was the one who wanted to wait. All of her “we’re married in spirit” bullshit. I always wanted more. She did too, but she was scared to commit to me fully. Afraid of…I don’t know what, exactly.
I should have been more reassuring. More demonstrative. More…gawd.I don’t know. I should have found some way to make her believe that I’m in this with her forever. That I’ll never, ever leave her. No matter what. I told myself she’s been through so much since we got engaged, I didn’t want to nag her about a wedding and add to the pressure…
Fuck.I’m just making any excuse.
What if…No!I’ve got to snap out of this. Be positive. Send happy, positive vibes. Stay calm.
But how do you do that when the person you love most in the world is fighting for her life?
You don’t. Youcan’t.I’m going fuckingnuts.
Wait. Wait. Wait.
