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I reach over and grab her mittened hand in my gloved one. “Yes. Let’s ask everything so there’s no questions left unasked. It’s a terrific idea.”
She looks at me, her eyes glisten just a bit because she’s working hard to hold her emotions at bay. “Okay then.”
The drive to the clinic is not even ten minutes from the ferry. We’re ushered in. I wait as Alex is cleaned and swabbed and prepped and I’m allowed in for a brief consult with her doctor before the procedure begins.
“Alex, before we get started I just want to remind you there is currently no cure for endometriosis.” Dr. Madison stands at the foot of Alex’s hospital bed. I sit next to her, holding her hand. “The goal of this laparoscopic surgery is to improve your symptoms, do everything we can to preserve your fertility.”
Alex is drowning in her hospital gown. She looks tiny. Scared. I’m scared too, but I’m not going to show it. I’m here to be my Poppy’s rock. “We’ve read all the materials you’ve provided. We want to do this. At the very least, Alex can’t live with the kind of pain she’s experiencing.”
“I agree wholeheartedly.” Dr. Madison is kind but efficient. Clearly, she’s done hundreds of these surgeries. “You’ve signed the consent forms, but I just want to confirm I have your permission to excise the damaged tissue and the cyst. There’s a risk that you’ll lose that ovary but as we discussed, it doesn’t appear your other ovary is affected.”
“I understand.” Alex nods. “It is what it is, if it’s got to come out, we’ll deal with it.”
I’m allowed to give her a kiss before I’m ushered out into a waiting room with a couple other guys. One of them does a double take, so I pull down my skull cap and take the seat at the farthest end of the room.
Minutes later, he’s beside me. “Dude, LTZ is my favorite band. Can I get a selfie to post to IG?”
Jesus. I don’t mind having fans, especially because of all the guys I get bothered the least, but in the motherfucking clinic? “Sure, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tag me. Obviously, we’re both in a medical facility…”
“No problem.” He tilts his camera toward us. I don’t smile, but I don’t shoot a laser dart at him with my eyes either. “I can’t fuckin’ believe I met Jace Deveraux. What are you here for?”
I can’t help but paste on a smile. “It’s nice to meet you too. If you don’t mind, I’ve got to go make a call.”
I stand and stalk toward the nurses’ station. It takes a hot minute for the young woman with long, black hair to glance up. Her face reddens and her eyes widen. “Oh. Mr. Deveraux. How can I help you?”
“Is there anywhere else I can wait for my fiancée?” I flash her my rock-star smile. “I don’t want to be a pain, but…”
“Oh, yes. Of course.” She flushes an even brighter red. I’m used to this when I’m on the road. It’s just been a while and it feels just as weird as it did when LTZ started getting famous.
She leads me to a tiny, but private, waiting area and assures me that she’ll let Dr. Madison’s team know where to find me. There’s a green vinyl couch that’s calling my name, but before I relax, I call home and check in with my sister and Alex’s mom. Once I’m assured all is well, I lie down and immediately fall asleep.
“Mr. Deveraux?” Someone is shaking me awake. I whirl around, unable to get my bearings until I realize where I am. My discombobulation is replaced with a bolt of adrenaline and I’m up like a shot.
“How is she?” I scrub my eyes with my fists and see the dark-haired woman hovering above me “Can I see her?”
She takes a step back. “She’s in recovery. Dr. Madison will be here in ten-to-fifteen minutes.”
Exactly fifteen minutes later, the doctor knocks and enters the room. Her face is unreadable. “Jace, I have some good news and a little bit of bad news.”
My heart feels like it has been pushed off a cliff. I try to hide it. “Oh? Maybe start with the bad?”
“We weren’t able to save her ovary, and the fallopian tube was completely infiltrated with lesions. We were weren’t able to save it either.”
My breath heaves. We knew this was possible. Still doesn’t make hearing about it very easy. “Okay. What’s the good news?”
She smiles. “We got almost all of it. And her remaining ovary and fallopian tube look healthy. Her uterus too. After recovery, I have every hope she’ll be pain-free and ready to try for a baby.”
My eyes squeeze shut. I know Alex is going to be sad about losing part of her reproductive organs, but we mentally prepared for this. Overall, this is a great outcome.
Dr. Madison places her hand on my shoulder. “I’ll come get you when she starts to come to. I think it’s best if she stays here tonight, so maybe make whatever arrangements you need while you wait.”
We were prepared for this possibility too. I call Alex’s mom again to give her the news. Call Jen. Then my folks. I pace a bit. Play a game on my phone. Finally, when I get bored just sitting here, I break down and turn on the television on the wall. I’m not paying attention to the 24-hour news channel, but the voices are a welcome distraction.
Close to two hours later, a nurse fetches me and leads me to Alex’s room. Her eyes blink open when I approach her bed. “Hey.”
“You still woozy?” I sit next to her and stroke the hand that isn’t hooked up to a bag of fluid.
“Mmm.” Her eyes flutter closed. “Sleepy.”
