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“Be careful with your mama. Remember I told you she has a boo boo in her belly.” Jace gazes sleepily at us.
“Boo boo in Mama’s bewwy.” Lena grabs a lock of my hair and twists it with one little hand. Shoves her thumb in her mouth. Her eyes close and she drifts off not long after.
“I love you,” Jace mouths.
I mouth it back.
He stealthily gets up and moves around to the far side of the bed. Plops the cats on the ground, climbs in behind us and spoons me. Swoops the duvet cover up to swaddle us in a warm, soft bubble.
I can’t remember ever feeling more secure than in this bed-cocoon with my drummer and our little girl. Sure, I’ve lost a part of myself. But Jace’s optimism is contagious. We have so much to look forward to in our future. I decide to forgive my younger self.
She was innocent. Naïve. Overconfident, perhaps.
I may not bethatmuch older, but I’ve learned what’s truly important.
It’s all here with me now. In this bed.
And I’m never taking it for granted again.
All I’ve done is reflect since Poppy’s surgery.
My conclusion? Endometriosis crept up on Alex slowly until it had her in a chokehold.
Illness, especially an invisible illness like hers, chips away at your psyche. That’s for sure.
Ever since she recovered from her operation, Alex is like a new woman. Scratch that, she’s reverted into her old playful carefree self. Words cannot describe how fucking amazing it is to see her light fully shine again. She’s so goddamn beautiful. Inside and out. I’m watching her teach Lena how to play fetch with Mitch through the kitchen window.
Moments like these are little slices of heaven to me.
The morning mist turns into a bit of a downpour, I mean it’s the Pacific Northwest. There’s a reason everything’s so green here. I step out to the porch and shout, “You’re gonna get wet.”
Alex looks up at me, her smile wide as she points to her feet. “That’s why they make these things called rain boots. Put yours on and join us. We have important business.”
Of course, I can’t resist. I put a thick hoodie on over my T-shirt, pull on my own pair of galoshes and bound down the stairs to my girls. “Okay, let’s get to it, ladies.”
“Da Da we splash the puddles.” Lena reaches for my hand, which I take.
I look up at Alex and arch an eyebrow in question. She just laughs. “Is there anything better than puddle jumping?”
“I have no idea; I’ve never done it. I grew up with sisters, remember?” I crouch down to eye level with Lena. “Will you show your daddy how to do it?”
We trek across our entire property finding puddles to play in. Alex is the ringleader. We leap over clusters of puddles like an obstacle course. Use sticks to see how deep the big pools of water are. Toss rocks to see which ones make the biggest splash. Make little boats out of leaves and twigs to see if they’ll float.
In the process, Alex teaches Lena about the trees and bushes that are indigenous to our environment. She shows Lena berries that are edible and warns her about the ones that are poisonous. We talk about the birds and bugs we come across. In the heavily wooded area that leads to a steep incline, we see a couple of deer.
Lena is utterly enthralled with the whole experience, but at this point we’re all damp, even with the rain gear on. As we turn back to go back home, Alex runs up ahead and turns back to us. “Okay, now are you ready for the very best part of the whole day?”
Lena and I both yell out an enthusiastic, “Yes!”
“Follow my lead, and then we can take turns.” She takes a running leap and jumps fully into a big puddle, causing it to splash mud all over her. “Wheeeeee!”
Before I can protest, Lena joyfully follows her and jumps into a smaller puddle. “Wheeeee!”
“C’mon, fancy pants.” Alex motions to me. “Let’s pop your puddle cherry.”
Lena screams, “Poppa puddle! Poppa puddle!”
At least the puddle cherry meaning is lost on our two-year-old, I think as I jog toward them and launch myself with both feet into a huge puddle with my own “wheeeee!” I misjudge the depth, and the water and mud fly everywhere and fill my boots. I’m doused and soaked, and I don’t care one bit. I maneuver out from the pool of water and pull off my boots to empty them before shoving them back on my wet feet.
