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“Oh,really?” Connor caresses my foot and kneads my arches with his strong bass-player thumbs.
Zoey leans her head on Ty’s shoulder. “I’d love that, Ronni. Next year, the boys will be running all over the place. Maybewe’llhave a little one to include in the horse picture.”
“If we don’t, it won’t be for lack of trying.” Ty waggles his eyebrows, his eyes locked with Zoey’s.
Connor shoots me a look that says, “A schmooopiercouple there never hasbeen.”
“Isn’t it cool how far the four of us have come?” I lean back into the sofa. “By the way, thank you for the ‘we’re so freakin’ happy for Ronni and Connor’ quote for theVarietyarticle. Kris thought we’d need it to put this stupidness to rest once and for all.”
Ty’s expression clouds and then, in an instant, he pastes on his “I’m the lead singer of LTZ” smile. “No problem, Ronni. You helped me out when Zoey and I went public. We were happy to do it for you two.”
“Yes, we were.” Zoey’s brilliant smile convinces me. “It’s time for all of us to live in truth. You guys are parents now. We can’t wait to have our own baby. We’re the couple who’s known each other the longest yet we’re playing catch up to the rest of you.”
“It scares me a little…” Ty glances around uneasily.
I can’t help but laugh at my not-so-distant memories. “The first few months are tough, but once you get the hang of it…”
Connor sighs contentedly and finishes my sentence. “…it’s the best job you’ll ever have.”
We stay late talking and visiting. By the end of the night, Connor’s convinced Ty to help him produce Fireball, his twin brothers’ band. Zoey’s offered to help watch the kids for a couple of weeks if we can’t find a nanny by then.
Apparently, the glowy, golden light of the gorgeous Christmas tree creates a magical energy in this room. Enhanced by the candles flickering all around us. I come to a realization. For the first time since my mom passed away, I feel secure. Like I’m truly part of a big family. Connor’s folks and siblings, of course. But, also the band, their spouses, and our children.
They know therealme. I belong here.
Out from under the lonely cloak of being famous.Finally.
I’ve built my life and career in LA. Never considered living anywhere else. But why? This town is superficial. Cold. Calculated. Transactional. Fake. Everyone’s values are all screwed up. Mine were too.
Plus, it’s downright exhausting. Everyone wants something. I can’t even find anyone trustworthy to help me with my kids.
Come to think of it, Ireallydon’t like it here. It doesn’t feel like home anymore.
God. My babies. I don’t want to raise Torin and Tristan in this privileged, entitled environment.
Being with Connor changed me.Livingwith Connor in Ireland showed me what and who we could be. Who weare. I’ve just been too overwhelmed as a new mother to stop and absorb it all. I slipped back into old patterns out of sheer exhaustion. I don’t want to keep anything from Connor ever again.
Maybe it’s time for us to think about moving. Permanently. I could do most of my work from anywhere in the world. The movie’s filming in Ireland. The series will shoot in Vancouver B.C., which is only a three hour drive from Seattle.
Yeah. That’s the solution. I feel it in my bones. I glance over at my gorgeous husband, who’s listening intently to a story Ty’s telling about one of his foundation kids.
He’s my dream come true. I can’t wait for us to figure out our next steps.
Together.
I’m findingmy true creative groove.
I feckin’ love it.
Until now, I’d never been a huge fan of the studio. So much sitting around doing nothing. I never took the time to understand the craft. It’s not to say I wasn’t intrigued. It’s kind of like…hmm. Intimidation, maybe?
It probably dates back to the beginning of LTZ. Zane’s dad, Carter, legendary guitarist from Limelight, took us under his wing. We practiced at his mansion on Lake Washington. He pushed us to get into the studio. Produced our EP. Hooked us up with his management company. Was at every single show we played when he, himself, wasn’t on the road.
For feck’s sake, the man was so intense about steering the band in the direction of success. Gave us lots of unsolicited advice. Incessant talk about condoms. Warnings about groupies and drugs. At the time, my own da was a raging alcoholic who stole money from the family business, leaving me to pick up the pieces. It was hard to wrap my head around a guy like Carter who was just so...involved.
With all the pressure I was under at the time it was always touch and go whether I’d have to quit LTZ. Which would have gutted me. At twenty-five, I’d already given up playing in a band with my wee twin brothers, Padraig and Liam, to support my family. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.
A burned-out rockstar doling out advice tome, of all feckin’ people, was incredibly annoying.
