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I follow her back to the bedroom, fuming. She disappears into her huge closet and comes out wearing leggings and a tee. I stand there gaping at her like an eejit as she takes off her earrings and places them in her jewelry safe. Wanders into the bathroom and washes her face.
Like she doesn’t have a feckin’ care in the world.
When she returns to the bedroom she sits on the chaise and curls her feet under her. Points at me. “Okay. I’m ready. Let’s talk. What’s going on?”
“I could ask the same feckin’ thing.” I remain standing but move toward her. “I’ve said nothing for the past couple weeks, but I can be silent no longer. You’re taking complete charge ofourlives as though I have no goddamn say in it. What the actualfuck,Mae.”
“Oh, nowyou’reangry.” She looks down at her perfect manicure and back up at me. Her expression steely.
“I don’t think angry begins to cover it. We’re supposed to be married. I’m telling you, I’m not going down this road with you again. The secrets. The unilateral decisions. I thought we resolved this when you went back on birth control without telling me. Not to mention all the feckin’ years you were…”
She holds up her hand to silence me. “I had to take some control back inmylife, Connor. Can’t you understand that?”
“I could if it was justyourlife. But it’s our lives. Mine. Yours. Tristan’s. Torin’s. This is not the feckin’Ronni Miller tells everyone how it’s gonna beshow. If you want it to be that way, then why the hell do you need me? For my dick?” I pound my fist into my hand. I may not raise my voice to my wife, but I’m so frustrated.
“I’ll ignore that last comment because we’re moving toSeattleforyou.” She looks at me incredulously. “You’re the one with all the band stuff coming up. We’ve been focused on my career for months and now it’s your turn.”
Goddamnit. “Gee, thanks for deciding that for us, Mae.” My voice couldn’t be filled with more sarcasm if I tried.
“What do you want from me?” I see her bottom lip tremble. In the present moment, I’m not moved.
Still, I’m a gentleman. I kneel at her feet and take her hands in mine. “I want what we agreed to. For us to talk about things. Make decisions together as a couple forourfamily.”
“Like you did up in Vancouver when you just took over the boys schedule? Spent all your time withYolanda?” She rips her hands from mine as she spits out our former nanny’s name.
Like a knife in my gut, that comment is. “That’s unfair. We agreed that I’d step up for the boys while you were working, Mae. To give you the time to fulfill your commitments. Now, if you have something on your mind about myfaithfulness, you best tell me outright.” I’m incensed.
“Oh, I don’t believe you’d be unfaithful to me. You’re just clueless. That girl was up to something, mark my words. She undermined me at every turn. Took over my role as though my children werehers. Called you and not me when things were happening with mybabies.” Ronni jabs her finger at me.
I seriously have no idea what she’s going on about. As I saw it, the nanny was being a feckin’ nanny. Things have been building in her mind and no matter how pissed I am at what’s happening now, I will never undermine my wife in her role as our boys’ mother. “I’m sorry you felt that way. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why? You wouldn’t have listened to me.” She buries her face in her hands. “And then Tristan got hurt. I got sued…”
Tears do me in every time, I can’t help but soften. “Mae, Tristan was fine. Nothing was happening with Yolanda, I promise. I think you’re under too much pressure. Pushing me away isn’t cool. Neither is taking away my say in our lives. If you’re angry with me, tell me. So I can fix it. Don’t let it build up like this. The deep freeze has been excruciating.”
Suddenly, Ronni’s wracked with sobs. Like a dam has burst. “What am I gonna do, Connor? I’m trying to keep all the balls in the air and I’m not handling myself well. I don’t want to disappoint you. Or the boys. Or Kris. And now this lawsuit’s going to cost me everything if it goes to trial. I’m 50K into it already.”
“Come here, babe.” I enfold her in my arms. My sweet girl. Still suffering alone. “I’m wondering—and please don’t take this the wrong way—if maybe you and I should call that counselor that Ty and Jace used. She’s here in LA. She specializes in trauma.”
Ronni looks up at me, her startling-green eyes spilling with tears. “No, I don’t need a shrink. I just need to get out of Los Angeles. Can we focus on that please? I want to be the one supporting your career for a bit. My movie work is manageable remotely for a couple months.”
“Is that for the best? Can you fill me in about the lawsuit? You haven’t spoken to me about it. Please, babe. I want to be here for you.” I smooth her hair down.
She sniffs. “My legal team is amazing. They’re convinced Kircher is grasping at legal straws, but because of how I went about gathering information for the documentary, things are complicated. Staying behind the scenes hurt me as much as it helped the others. Or something. Anyway, they’re working all the angles. Trying to get it dismissed. It’s just so disturbing to think he’s using the press to turn this around on me.”
“It’s been a lot. For both of us. I’m in this relationship too.” I squeeze her back into my embrace.
Ronni wrenches herself free. “Yeah, well, you’re not the one on the front lines.”
Ouch.
“Look, there will always be times when we inadvertently hurt each other, but deliberate hurting is a hard feckin’ no for me. I didn’t realize you felt the way you did in Vancouver. You never said anything. Instead, you reacted. Now you’re lashing out. As though I’m supposed to read your mind.” I scrub my fingers along my beard. “I’m no psychologist, Mae, but these patterns need to be broken. I get you’re going through something hard. I get that you weren’t happy with me about how Tristan’s injury went down. What I don’t understand is why you’re deliberately treating me like dog shite. I don’t deserve it. I, uh… I’ll just say it. I don’t know how many more of these incidents I have in me.”
“Is that supposed to be a threat?” She steps back. “You left me once before.”
I cock my head, frustrated. “Yeah. I did. It was a long, long time ago. For the identical reason. Don’t you see? When you keep things from me on purpose it’s destructive. When you deny my ability to participate in my own life? No. Just no. I’m a grown feckin’ man, Mae. You’re not the boss. Neither am I. We’re supposed to be doing this together.”
“I keep pushing you away. To the point where you want to leave.” Tears pool in her eyes again.
