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It’s because I’m literally working my ass off. But I can’t tell her that, because then she’ll realize how much I’ve been keeping from her. How I’ve turned inward in the last six months, and the last thing I want her to do is worry about me, but sometimes I worry myself.
Gone are nights out at the bar with my friends. Instead I find myself drinking in front of the TV with no place to go, and no one to stop me. Raking my fingers through my hair, I push those intrusive thoughts away and focus on the meal in front of me. My mouth waters like I haven’t eaten in months, and I dig in.
Roast and vegetables with cornbread has always been my favorite. Damn if this doesn’t hit the spot more than anything has since Dad died and left us all grasping for what our places are in not only this family, but the world.
Eyes are on me, so I glance over at my mom. She’s beaming as I shovel food into my mouth, and like a starving man; I eat.
Hoping against hope I can keep this going, without driving myself insane.
CHAPTERFOUR
HOLLY
“Mom!”I scream as I get out of my car and run toward the front door.
Looking up at the house, I almost cry.
This is everything I’ve needed since I got in my car two days ago. To see the home I grew up in, to see my parents when I’m not running away from all my problems. When I’m not in the middle of the biggest embarrassment of my life, ready to put myself in a box and ship me off to the nearest place that would be willing to take me.
She and dad come out and down the front steps to meet me. They envelop their arms around me, and I hold on tighter than I have in years.
After I’d been left at the altar, I’d told them to come back to Blizzard Bluff. I’d wanted to lick my wounds privately, and pack up my apartment on my own. Perhaps it had been foolish of me, and I should’ve accepted whatever support they were willing to give. However, I had to work through it on my own, and I did everything I could to make it through.
Now though?
Now I need their support more than ever, and I’m ready to accept it. Completely capable of accepting whatever support they’re willing to give me.
“How was the drive?” Dad asks, as he pulls back, cupping my cheeks with his rough hands.
“Long, but uneventful. Honestly nice, gave me time to decompress after rushing to pack up my apartment.”
“I wish you had let us help you,” Mom fusses with my hair.
Shaking my head, I swallow roughly. “I needed to do it on my own.”
Little does she know how I spent the last couple of weeks. Throwing away shit I thought was part of my past and future, while drinking myself to sleep at night. It was a necessary evil, and one I actually enjoyed the process of. It wasn’t pretty, but it was my life for the time I needed it to be.
“Let’s go inside,” Dad herds us toward the front door with outstretched arms. “It’s freezing, and I’ve got chili on the stove.”
My heart warms and my stomach growls. They know exactly what to do to make things better. "Let's go."
Walking into my childhood home is like going back in time. To when things were simple and there wasn’t such a thing as getting your heart broken. When all your dreams were set to come true and there were no thoughts about failure. On the wall as I walk in are the pictures that encapsulate my childhood and teenage years. There’s the picture of me going to kindergarten the first day, where I graduated from high school and then college.
The one that captures my attention, though?
The prom picture.
I went with Lucas Fortner.
My teenage heart had loved him fiercely. He’d been my first everything, and although I’d loved him so deeply, I’d wanted to fly too.
I'd believed I was destined for a big bright world, one where I could explore and make mistakes on my own. I'd been a wild child, wanting desperately to escape the monotony of what I thought my life would be if I stayed in Blizzard Bluff.
Peaking in high school was the biggest fear I had. To live in the shadows of what I’d done in the brief four years of being at Blizzard Bluff High.
And really, in the grand scheme of things, it hadn’t been much. A member of the cheerleading squad, equipment girl for the hockey team, and anything that would keep me from being at home. Because all I’d wanted to do was be with Lucas.
Which scared the shit out of me.
