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Again, the men nodded, some looking down in shame, others’ faces twisting with anger, and still others looking at him with questioning expressions. They were awaiting his orders. He knew it, but his mind was going over every choice he had made, wondering if each had been the right one. It prevented him from speaking. Where had he misjudged? He could not see the exact moment in his mind, which worried him. For so long he had wanted to prove he was worthy to lead, and he had proven the opposite. He had failed Iain. He had failed Katherine. And he failed the king’s dead men and Rory Mac.
Cameron’s throat tightened painfully. What to do? Pursue the attackers or save Rory Mac?
There was no question.
“Ride fast and hard to Dunvegan,” Cameron ordered, meeting every man’s gaze. “I’ll collect Katherine’s body and nae be far behind.”
All the men nodded and immediately started to move to obey, except Alex. “Cameron, a word?”
“Hold,” Cameron commanded to the men as he moved his destrier away from the group along with Alex.
“The king will nae be pleased at the choice to put Rory Mac before pursuing the attackers,” Alex said when they were far enough away for discretion.
“The king will likely want my head for Katherine’s life; it dunnae matter what I do now,” Cameron bit out. “So I dunnae give a damn at this moment if my saving Rory Mac angers him more. Nae that I would have made the choice differently under other circumstances.”
Alex clasped Cameron on the shoulder. “I agree. I just wanted to ensure ye had thought about his response.”
“Aye,” Cameron replied grimly, “I have.”
Alex eyed Cameron. “I’ll ride with ye. And dunnae attempt to argue.”
“I dunnae fear that the attackers have lingered, Alex. Ye ken as well as I do, they were after Katherine. And since they succeeded…”
Alex nodded. “They’ve likely fled. I dunnae stay with ye because of them. I remain with ye because of David.”
Cameron let out a derisive chuckle. “Yer presence by my side will nae stop the king from taking my life on sight if he wishes, and it may get ye killed as well for simply being with me when I deliver Katherine to the king.”
“I’ll take that chance,” Alex replied, determination lacing his tone.
Cameron nodded. He knew it was futile to argue with the man, who was as stubborn as Iain. It meant a great deal to him that Alex would willingly risk his life for him, but it would not come to that. He’d have to ensure that Alex was not by his side when the king found out about Katherine. Precisely how he was going to achieve that eluded him now, but he had the journey back to Dunvegan to formulate a plan.
“Broch,” Cameron called, getting the man’s swift attention. “Ye’re in charge. Alex will remain with me. Ride swiftly and save Rory Mac.”
“Aye. Ye can trust me, Cameron,” Broch replied, already turning to depart for Dunvegan.
Cameron watched long enough to see the men follow, and then he silently guided Winthrop in the direction he had left Katherine and set out to collect the king’s dead mistress.
Just as he pressed his heels into his destrier to signal a gallop, Alex said, “Her death was nae yer fault.”
Cameron involuntarily jerked at the words spoken aloud, words that completely contradicted what he knew to be true. In pulling backward, he slowed Winthrop, whom he’d just set into a gallop. The horse threw his head back at the opposing order but settled when Cameron rubbed a soothing hand down the back of his neck.
“It was,” Cameron replied, his tone as desolate as he felt inside.
Alex shook his head. “It was her own damn fault for speaking when she was told nae to. If she had nae opened her mouth, the arrows would nae have found her in the darkness.”
“It was my responsibility to ensure she understood the consequence of disobeying my orders, and to be ready for the possibility that she might. I failed on both accounts.”
“My God, Cameron.” Alex’s tone held frustration and sympathy. “Nae even the keenest leader could have been ready for Katherine’s foolish actions. The standards ye are holding yerself to are nae attainable.”
“They are the standards required of a leader of the MacLeod clan,” Cameron snapped.
“I dunnae believe yer brothers expect ye to be faultless,” Alex declared.
“I expect it,” Cameron growled, setting Winthrop to a gallop.
They made their way back across the stream and started through the thick brush and under overhanging branches. When a snake fell from the trees above them, Cameron threw off the slimy thing with a hiss, spooking Winthrop. The horse reared up on his hind legs and tossed his head back with a snort.
“Settle, ye wild beastie,” Cameron ordered as he and Alex searched the ground for the snake. He glanced above them to ensure there were no more surprises to come.
