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Four months later. . .
I didn’t knowhow to fix it. . . to fix us.
For months, Lark sat with the commitment letters from Yale and the four medical schools where she was accepted spread across the island for hours each night. Those nights turned into weeks and months. “Baylor’s a great school,” she says, looking at me over her laptop.
“Baylor is a great school,”
“But I don’t want to be in Texas without you.”
What?I shift on the couch and angle to face her. “Why would you be in Texas without me?”
“Because Yale is in New Haven and Grossman is in New York.”
“I can go to Baylor with you. I’ll go wherever you go.” She’s staring at me. I mean, she does that sometimes, but there’s something more than lust in her eyes this time. There are questions. “What?” I ask, sitting forward.
“What do you mean what, Harbor? How would you go to Baylor? You didn’t even apply.”
“Well,” I start . . . not sure how to break it to her. It’s a secret I’ve kept hidden for a reason. Some days I’m still surprised that she hasn’t called me on it. Makes me wonder if that’s on purpose. She’s a smart woman, but she conveniently avoids talking about my family’s money and my access to it as much as possible.
I’ve overthought this for so long that I’m ready to rip off the bandage and just deal with it head-on. I know it will upset her. How can it not? Life’s not fair. I’ve learned that the hard way. But I’ve never had to worry about finances. She’s never asked me for a penny or a loan. But she’s stressed about her future, and it’s time for me to get involved.
“Well?” Her eyes are still on mine, the interest building in her expression when she tilts her head and starts chewing on the inside of her mouth. “How?” she presses again.
I blow out a long breath and then run my hand over my head. “We’re together. We’re together because we love each other—”
“Do I need to be nervous? That opener worries me.”
“You don’t need to be nervous. That’s my point. I’ll go wherever you go because I love you so much. This, you and me, we aren’t temporary, baby. We’re the real thing.”
She sits up on the barstool at the island, and says, “I’d love to say I can go where you go, but that’s just not true. I need a scholarship to cover my schooling. I’m confused, Harbor, because what you said is that you’ll go to Baylor with me, but you didn’t apply, so how are you going to school with me when you didn’t even fill out the application?”
The best high from being accepted turned into the biggest disappointment each time she found out she didn’t get the scholarships for her reach schools. I want this settled once and for good. “I’ll help pay for your medical school.”
She was rubbing her temple, but her hand stills. “What do you mean? You can’t do that.”
“I can do some.” I stand and move to the other side of the island from her. “Baylor offered thirty percent. I can cover,I don’t know, another thirty over four years, and then you’ll get financial aid for the rest. Problem solved.”
Blinking slowly, her tongue dips out to wet her lips, and then she closes her mouth again. “Hm.”
“Hm?”
“I’m processing.” That’s fair. Then she raises her finger in the air. “How does that solve the problem? I would then owe youandthe bank money.”
“No.”
“No?” she asks, her brows rising.
“No. I could give you the money.”
“Um, double no.” Shaking her head, she drops her gaze. “Absolutely not. Extra no. Whatever no gets through to you. No.”
“No? Are you sure?”
“You’re not giving me the money, Harbor. I’m not spending years of my life in debt to you. At least not financially. Sexually, even emotionally, I’m all in, running a tab. But you know how I feel about owing people and unpaid debts.”
Remembering how she couldn’t stand when I bought her coffee at TJ’s, I know she hasn’t changed. She got a job down at Moretti’s to help pay rent. She can’t just accept a damn gift without feeling guilty. It’s both sweet and annoying because I have to predict how she’ll react before I buy her anything. She adds, “I wasn’t raised that way. There’s so much more to it than the next four years, and then there’s the residency. I’ll be eighty before I can pay you back.”
“What does it matter if we’re still together?”
