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38
Lark
I shiftthe truck into park but stay, idling in the driveway of the Westcott estate. I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t seeing Harbor’s car parked near the front door.
I feel sick.
That’s something I never felt with Harbor before.
Nothing makes sense, so maybe he can unwind this mess and make it right again.
I look in the mirror and wipe away the makeup that’s smeared under my eyes from crying. I can’t touch up with my makeup bag at home, but does it matter? There’s no way I’ll be able to stop my tears from engulfing me with the two words I dread hearing—he’s gone. I’m barely containing them now. Anyway, my makeup will probably be running again shortly.
I cut the engine and climb out of the cab, dropping from the high truck until my feet reach the ground. I don’t lock it.What’s the point?No one’s going to steal it from this property. For that matter, I might as well leave the keys on the seat just in case I need a quick getaway. Not that I’m planning an escape, but something’s gone terribly wrong, and I have a feeling I wasn’t summoned out here to discuss my summer plans.
Wow, another thing that seems to be gone in an instant. Why were we making plans if he had no intention of following through? I’m so lost on what’s happening and am ready to wake from this nightmare.
The door opens as soon as I take the first step to their front door. Marina’s standing there with tears in her eyes as if she was the one who was left.
We’ve spent a little time together when Harbor and I would come over for dinner and celebrate over the holidays. But I wish we would have had more time to get to know each other. She’s very poised for her age, intelligent, and is a great kid. By the time I reach the landing, she throws her arms around me and starts crying.
These aren’t the tears from learning of a death or an accident. Those are black, with hope burned in the ashes. I can feel that flicker inside me, that little ember trying to persist and come to life. Harbor does that to me. He makes me feel nothing and everything all at once, fragmented, but hope still exists between us, our love burning through the tears of the brokenhearted.
I embrace his little sister like she’s my own, soothing her. I find comfort that I’m not alone, that I’m not the only one who’s been abandoned. But I realize his sister crying means I’ll be the one crying again in a minute. “It’s okay, Marina.”
“He—”
“Marina,” her dad says, his voice catching us off guard.
She takes a short breath, her eyes meeting mine so quickly that I don’t have time to see what she already knows inside them. The coloring just about brings me to my knees, the same color that usually makes me weak in them when Harbor looks at me. She whispers, “I’m sorry,” and then walks to her dad.
Like my dad did for me, hers holds her as she cries on his shoulder. Harbor’s mom comes out and sees them. “Honey? Come here, Marina.” She takes her hand and wraps her arms around her. Delta looks at me over her shoulder and says, “Oh Lark . ..”
Marina wipes her eyes and quietly moves through to the living room with her dad as I step up to the door.
Delta takes my hands, bringing me inside the house and then wrapping her arms around me so tight that for a moment, a moment so brief that it won’t betray my dad, I wish she were Liz.Is this what moms do?They wrap you in a blanket of their arms when the world becomes too much to handle?
Her breath is shaky for someone who looks so composed . . . as if she’s been dreading this visit as much as I am. She says, “I’m so sorry, Lark.”
Reality hits hard with a boom kick to my heart.
Why is she sorry?
I start to push away, but she holds me tighter. “He loves you so much.”
It’s funny how the mind plays tricks on you, making you think that you’ll live, that you’re somehow strong enough to survive your heart being broken in two and your soul ripped from your body.Tricks . . .
The birds are singing, and the sky is so blue—my favorite shade or used to be—on the drive over.Tricks . . .
As my tears fall on the silk, I can’t help but think her floral blouse was perfect for a springtime graduation, but here we are, crying on it instead. What an odd thing to notice.Tricks . . .
My eyes start to dry, but I’m left drained from the flooding emotions. I could cry for hours, but at this point, that’s just my heart weeping.
“Let’s get something to drink,” Delta says, taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen. I see Noah and Marina outside at a table by the pool. Both look troubled. Noah with his slumped shoulders as he rests his head in his hands and Marina with her large sunglasses that may hide her crying eyes but not the red of her nose.
The only two missing are his dad and eldest brother, Loch. I’ve seen his dad, and I imagine Loch is around here somewhere. The Westcotts seem to be a family that comes together in an emergency.
Is that what this is?
