AllFreeNovel
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“I’m asking you.”
I stop a few feet away and look over my shoulder, our eyes meeting. “I heard you, but there’s no fucking way I’m having this conversation, not tonight, and if I have my way, not ever.” I turn the bolt to unlock the door.
“Why are you leaving?” Lark runs to block me by pressing her back to the door.
My hand is on the doorknob, ready to help me escape. She only asked about him, nothing more, but I stand there, looking at her as if she’s changed. She hasn’t. I have, which isn’t fair to her. “You were sharing your hurt with me.” I touch her cheek, rubbing the pad of my thumb over her soft skin. “And it means a lot that you trusted me with that part of yourself. But it doesn’t mean I’m ready to do the same.”
“Harbor,” she says, her tone dripping in sympathy. My hands have lowered, but I don’t move away from her because I’ve done her dirty by making her grovel for me. “I’m—”
“It’s okay. I’m just telling you how it is with me. Lucas Westcott isn’t a story I’ll be sharing.”
“You don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want. I won’t ask again. Just please stay.”
My throat feels thick with remorse—not for standing my ground about my cousin but for making her feel bad for even asking. “I’m sorry, Lark. Maybe I overreacted. It’s just—”
“You don’t have to explain. You’re allowed to keep parts of yourself private.” She’s too understanding.
“That’s just it. It’s not private. It’s all out there. You can google it.”
“I don’t want to google it. I don’t want to learn about you from the internet. I want to know the person you want to share with me.”
Fuck.I feel like shit now. I move in, bringing her into a hug. She lets me without resistance, which makes me feel worse instead of better.
Generally, I’m as honest as I can be, but Lark speaks her heart, which can be a dangerous proposition. But I speak from mine as well when it comes to her, so I guess we’re both taking a risk.
Getting to know someone—about their family, their upbringing, and their life—isn’t always easy. Her arms finally come around me, and she rests her cheek on my chest. “This is going fast . . .”
This.
Us.
I step back—emotionally and physically—to deal with the tightening in my chest by rubbing the forming knot before it settles in. “What are you saying?”
“I shouldn’t have pushed.” She walks to the bedroom, still talking. “That’s all.” Turning in the doorway, she leans against it. Nothing about her stance is open to me.
Crossed arms.
Pursed lips.
Eyes with no shine for me to find.
What have I done?
I’ve fucked up.That’s what.
But it’s easier to think she’s the fool for opening the door and letting me into her life. Although I hope I won’t be a regret she has one day, I have a feeling I don’t have a say in the matter. She’s already made the sacrifice—herself.
This time, I won’t play games. I won’t toy with her or her feelings. She deserves to have honesty, something that I’m used to burying to protect a ghost.
“I wasn’t believed when I told the truth, but the lies were as if everyone was waiting for this day, anticipating my downfall. I had no choice but to embrace what benefitted my cousin more. I gave them what they wanted and told them I caused the accident.”
Her guard is down, and worry wrinkles her face as she comes back to me. Taking my hands, she kisses one and then the other. “I’m so sorry.” She reaches up and wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me with all her strength. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone.”
Her response takes me by surprise. I’ve never had anyone take my side before. I lean back to see her face. “What?”
“Harbor,” she says, caressing my face. “I can’t imagine feeling so alone that you have to lie to please everyone.”
I’ve unlocked the gates, and memories begin to flood back. “You don’t understand. I didn’t deserve a shot to set things right or to make amends. I’d fucked up so many times.”
