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I push her hair out of the way to kiss her neck. “I hope you do.”
We only give ourselves a minute to unwind before we take turns leaving to clean up in the bathroom. Feeling more relaxed than I have in long time, I lie in bed beside her with the lamp turned off. I say, “It’s going to be a rough day ahead if we stay up much longer.” I don’t put this pressure on her, but I’d fight sleep just to spend more time with her.
Her smile blooms in the middle of the night, just for me. Touching my cheek, she says, “Let’s get some sleep then.” She kisses me, and then I lean over her and steal another.
She must have been more tired than she realized. It takes her no time at all to find her slumber, but I stay awake, fighting against it just to have a few minutes to think.
I’ve fucked up in the past and almost got kicked out of my house and schoola couple of times. I don’t blame anyone else involved but myself.
I didn’t have to drink like I’d never get another.
I didn’t have to smoke weed.
I didn’t have to let my ego get the better of me.
But I did.
Holding her now while she sleeps, I don’t know what good I did to deserve this peace, even if temporary, but I recognize when there’s an angel in my midst. I kiss her head as the past is forgotten, and an opportunity for a new beginning fills this room.
Lark.
I stare at her, almost willing her awake just to selfishly see her eyes again. She stirs, so I lie as still as I can, hoping she can fall asleep again. We stayed up late, too late to try to make sense of the changes.
“Hi,” she whispers softly, her voice faded from sleep. Lying against my chest, a little grin appears before she opens her eyes. I didn’t have a doubt about staying, but if I had, the slate would be wiped clean.
This is why.
She is why.
She yawns but blinks and closes her eyes again, squeezing the hand she’s holding between us. “I like you in my bed.”
“I like you.”
There’s a pause long enough to make me wonder if she fell asleep again. But then she says, “Charming Harbor, never change.”
“I’ll change for you.”
But I’m not entirely sure she heard me since her body grows heavier as her breathing evens. Then she whispers, “I don’t need you to change who you are for me. I just need you.” Closing my eyes again, I try to find the same deep sleep, but the smile plastered on my face might be the culprit keeping me awake. That’s okay. I’m in no hurry to rush through the remaining hours I have with her before sunrise.
Despite my happiness, exhaustion sets in anyway, leaving me no choice but to give in and fall asleep.
20
Lark
We’ve only been datingfor a month, so how am I already accustomed to riding around in a six-figure car like I’m a princess?When I met Harbor.
“I need to study more,” I say, resting my hand on top of his. I run my finger over the prominent veins that I find not only sexy but also safe—like his strength is on display.
He rubs the top of my thigh and gives it a little squeeze—equally sweet and possessive. We may have had a bumpy start, but sometimes life throws curveballs. I’m glad we committed to more with each other. It’s been pure bliss ever since.
I’d know too. He’s not the first guy I’ve dated, although there haven’t been many . . . for good reason. But I’ve dated enough to know I’ve found something special in Harbor.
One of my favorite parts of dating him is that we talk about everything and nothing at all. There’s no pressure to perform or be “on.” Not every conversation has to be some great reveal about ourselves. Instead, it’s been a journey of slow discovery. So much so that I wonder if this lifetime will ever be long enough to lose interest. It seems downright impossible when it comes to him.
Parking the car, he shrugs. “Okay, then we’ll study more.”
“No,Ineed to study more. You’re a complete distraction.”
