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He starts driving again, always so careful when I’m in the car. I’ve been on dates when they didn’t even care if I wore a seat belt. But here’s Harbor barely driving the speed limit when I’m with him. I’m starting to believe it’s another way he shows me how he cares about me. “Why is that?”
I’m answered with a shrug while he messes with the heater at a stop sign. But my emotions aren’t fully back in check after the fight with Amanda yet, and the warm fuzzies I get from being with Harbor can’t cover the insecurities that have begun to shadow my patience tonight. I’m so conflicted, also not wanting to make him feel interrogated with no escape. “I’ve never seen the place. I don’t even know where you live.”
“Yeah.” The shyest smile lies on his face, and he runs his thumb over his bottom lip. “I have no good excuse other than I didn’t want my secret revealed.”
“You have a secret?”
Rolling his palms over the steering wheel, he begins to laugh. “I have a feeling it won’t surprise you.”
Not sure what to think, I ask, “What won’t surprise me?”
“I’m messy.” One hand goes into the air as he laughs. “I spent an hour getting it clean again. Between me rarely being home lately and Noah hanging around more than usual, it was like a fucking bomb went off in there.”
To say I’m relieved is an understatement.He’s messy . . .That’s all it is. Not some life-shattering news. I start laughing, mainly at myself for overthinking this. “I can be messy sometimes, too. My dad had to learn the skill of cleaning over the years. So I get it, especially with things like school and the applications getting in the way.”
“Your brother stays with you?”
“Only when he wants to get laid.” His gaze shoots to me. “I probably shouldn’t have revealed that, but I’d rather spend the night with you than listen to him and some girl bang all night.” He slows when the light turns yellow and then stops on red at the square downtown. “Between my apartment and the main house, he goes to mine. Not that he has much choice. My parents don’t approve of one-night stands.”
“Do any?” I laugh.
Chuckling, he replies, “Probably not.” The light turns green, and he begins to drive again but glances at me quickly.
“My dad would flip if he caught me and some guy in bed.”
“Some guy,” he repeats as if the words don’t sit right.
The image of him alone with “some girl” doesn’t sit right with me either. I reach over and rub my hand over his leg. I move away from that thought. “Are you free to come over for Sunday dinner?”
“At your dad’s house?”
“Yes. He’s making burgers and said you need to bring a side dish, but I can cover that.”
“No way. If he wants me to bring a side dish, I’m bringing it. I’m not starting off on the wrong foot with your dad.”
“There’s no starting off. You’ve already met him. Several times.”
“But this is the first time we’ll be hanging out. The game will be on, right?”
“He wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s the sound of my childhood.”
At the next street, he takes a right and then another left. I don’t ride my bike in this direction, which is opposite of where I live. Our little town has been growing steadily for the last decade, but I had no idea of the revolution happening on this side of town. “Who knew they were building low rises on the other side of campus?”
“I did since we deal with the noise every day. This is it.”
I jerk my gaze forward in anticipation. It’s a brand-new building, all right, but unlike the modern glass eyesore I expected, this building is designed in brick with black-framed windows and architectural detailing that could fool you into thinking it’s older.
Harbor pulls into the garage and drives down the row until we reach the parking spots closest to the elevator. He parks but doesn’t rush to get out. He doesn’t seem himself, which makes me tense. Surely, a messy apartment can’t be causing this.
We walk to the elevator holding hands, my backpack slung over his shoulder. His grasp is firm, his eyes forward, tempting me to laugh at how ridiculous the buildup of this apartment has become. When I lean against him, he automatically brings his arm around me. In his arms, the world doesn’t feel so heavy. Fights with friends and stress from applications all disappear when I’m with him.
When we get in the elevator, he picks the fifth floor. “The penthouse?” I ask, my gaze shifting from the buttons to him before I catch a glimpse of myself in the reflected metal of the doors. Pressing my hair down, I slide my hand lower, hoping to calm the chaos.
“My parents bought it when Loch was ready to live in an apartment. Noah will probably move in next summer when he turns twenty-one. After he graduates, they’ll save it for Marina. Of course that depends if she stays to attend Beacon U. to continue the tradition or breaks the mold.”
Must be nice to have options like that. I catch myself before my thoughts turn sour. I can be jealous of how life seems to have no hurdles for him or his family, but how will that leave me? Alone and feeling like I judged him the way I would never want to be judged myself for barely scraping by. I’m grateful that I have a job that pays well enough for my priority to stay focused on school. “With four kids, it was probably a wise investment.”
The doors open and we walk to the end of the hall, opposite of the other front door on the floor. He opens the door and waits with his back to it while I walk in. My mouth falls open, but I can’t stop staring.
