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Arden and Lex kissed, with him practically hauling her into his lap. My body moved on its own, pushing me to my feet.
“I’ll give you both a second,” I said, leaving the room and then the building. I rounded the corner to the space behind the central palace for privacy.
The cold, crisp air did nothing to soothe me. Arden was never going to be mine, was she? As much as holding onto the spell hurt, at least I didn’t let myself touch her again before this. I was coming around to the idea of sharing her with the other two when Lex and I were on a similar playing field. But now I was below them, no matter what Arden said. I couldn’t compete.
I leaned against the brick wall of the building and stared up at the sky. Now what? For once, I didn’t have a plan. But I knew, deep in my gut, that I had to let Arden go. What did the future look like with me on the sidelines?
I swallowed the lump in my throat. The future felt like someone had sucked the color out of it, and I was powerless to stop it. I hated this. I was never powerless. I was never out of control.
But the Mystic had pushed Lex and Arden together, and that was the one force I couldn’t defeat.
“Flint?” Arden peered around the corner. Hearing her voice was a knife to the chest, as sweet as it sounded.
We had healed her completely, but the weariness on her face made her look like she needed more rest.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
I pushed off the wall and faced her. “What is there to say?”
“What do you mean?” Her brows furrowed. “The spell is broken. I know that Lex and I have mate-bonded, but we can touch each other now. Kiss. Hug. More than that.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“So…” Her eyes scanned my face. “Do you want to be with me? With all of us? We’ve struggled for so long, and now we can finally give in to our desires.”
I swallowed. Guilt crept up to mingle with the pain. I was the cause of her distress, and I had been for a while, hadn’t I? I was keeping her from myself, yes, but I had kept her from Lex, too. If she’d felt even an ounce as miserable as I had with the arrangement, even with Jagger by her side…
The revelation hit me like a rock to the gut. I didn’t deserve her. I’d hurt her too much, even if she claimed she was fine being with me one-on-one sometimes. How had I been so selfish as to keep her from happiness? Clearly, she, Lex, and Jagger were meant to be together. The Mystic had made it so.
“I love you, Arden, and your safety and happiness are the most important things to me,” I said, taking her hand. “But my love can’t compare to a mate bond. I don’t want to be an interloper on your relationship.”
“Your love is important to me.Youare important to me.” Arden’s eyes filled with tears, and she pulled her hand out of mine. “I love you just as much as I love them. Even though I have mates, that doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything.” I kept my voice low, but it came out hoarse. “Can you really tell me that your mate bond can be compared to regular love?”
She bit her bottom lip instead of speaking. She didn’t need to respond for me to know her answer.
“No, the mate bonds don’t change how I feel about you. I need you. I love you. And I don’t love you any less than Jagger or Lex. I know our mate bond hasn’t solidified…yet. It doesn’t matter, though.”
“It does, Arden.” I swallowed, hoping to gain some control again, but I was falling to pieces. “I’ll always love you, but I can’t be with you when you have two mates.”
Tears fell down Arden’s face, breaking my heart even more. “I want you, Flint.”
“I want you, too, but I can’t. It hurts too much. You’ll always be more connected to them.” I wanted to touch her, to kiss her just once, but she was inching away from me with every word I spoke. “I’ll do everything in my power to get you the answers you want and to keep you safe. I promise.”
Arden looked over my shoulder, even as she sobbed. I felt Jagger and Lex before I saw them, the air warming and the wind kicking up. When I turned, a chill ran down my spine. I’d seen those dark looks on them before, but never aimed at me, even in our most intense fights.
Lex and Jagger were brothers to me, but in that moment, I knew they’d tear me apart if I did the wrong thing. Arden was the center of their everything.
“Don’t,” Arden said, clearing her throat. “Don’t lay a finger on him. It’s fine. I hate it, but I understand.”
“It’s not fine,” Lex said. The wind stilled, but the air was still thick with heat. “You realize what you’re doing, right? She’s hurting so badly.”
“I know. But it’s better this way. I can’t measure up to you two, as much as I love her. I’ll still do everything to keep her safe and help her figure out her past.” I looked at Arden, who wiped her eyes. “I’ll leave. I’m going to talk to the assailant and report back.”
“Fine, do that,” Jagger said. His eyes were still red, but the heat receded. “We’ll discuss later.”
I left, the burning ache in my chest expanding.
