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The needling would only last so long before it turned bitter and vicious. ‘I am recuperating from the accident in Frigiliana,’ he replied, hating the way his emotions seesawed, the child in him still wanting desperately to pacify his mother, to give her whatever she needed because, unlike his father, Renata had at least stayed. But he’d been fighting that yoke for years now. Rebellion hadn’t worked. Emily and his marriage had also been an attempt to escape that, he could see now. He hadn’t fabricated his feelings for his wife, but he had pushed them too far too soon.
‘Have you not done enough of that yet? I need you here in Madrid.’
‘Ma—’
A curse cut right through his word. ‘Don’t call me that,’ she spat.
Javier took a deep breath. ‘I am not coming back any time soon, Renata.’
‘Don’t talk such nonsense. I have an investment opportunity for us to look at.’
Us being a euphemism for herself. Javier wasn’t going to give in this time.
‘What about Luis? Can’t you speak to him?’ Javier hoped that her husband could bear even just a little of the brunt of whatever was causing this meltdown.
‘Luis? Oh, he’s gone. Done.’
Javier pinched the bridge of his nose, pressing as hard as he could against the rapidly forming headache.
‘What happened?’
‘He was stealing,’ Renata hissed. ‘Draining our accounts. That’s why I need you to come back. You need to fix this.’
‘No.’
There was deadly silence on the other side of the phone line as he processed that he’d said that out loud, his mind distracted by the fact that this was exactly what she’d accused his father of doing.
‘Don’t be childish, Javier. I’ll expect you tomorrow.’
‘No,’ he said again, furiously trying to temper his anger as too many things were surfacing. All the times he’d given and given and given and he knew now that it would never be enough.
‘How dare you? After everything I have given you. You ungrateful, despicable child. The selfishness! Without me, where would you be? Just like your failure of a father, you’d be on the streets. And you think you can throw all my love back in my face? Let me tell you...’
Santi sighed as he placed the last of the plates in the dishwasher, having helped clear the table after lunch. ‘I think it’s time for us to be making a move,cariño,’ he said to his wife.
Emily frowned. ‘Oh. You don’t have to,’ she said, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. It had been so lovely sharing the afternoon with them, something she’d missed during her last time here.
Smiling sadly, Santi explained, ‘Whenever Renata calls and it takes more than two minutes it’s never a good sign, Emily. She either wants money or to berate him, or both. Usually both. It is unlikely that Javier will come back out. But when you go to him, be kind?’ The question struck her heart and Emily was quick to assure him that she would.
She bid them goodbye, with smiles and sincere promises to call Mariana soon, but the afternoon had lost its glow and Emily’s chest ached for the man she had threatened to divorce not eight days ago. Suddenly the past didn’t matter so much—or at least itmatteredmore in that she had seen a glimpse into the child that Javier hid within him, the one who had been so affected by his mother’s behaviour and his father’s abandonment, and she knew the way that knife cut deep.
She went into the house to find Javier staring out at the gorge from the windows in the living area, lost in thoughts only he could know. Perhaps in some way they had both been running from something when they’d married—hoping to find a bit of what they had been denied as children. It didn’t make their feelings any less valid, but perhaps it could make her more forgiving of how young they had been when they’d made those choices. Perhaps leaving had meant only that they could use that time to become what they needed to be before returning to each other a little older, perhaps a little wiser, and a lot more secure. The thought soothed something in her, eased her path forward, and her decision was suddenly easy and clear.
But before she could speak of her feelings, before she guided them towards a future she wanted so deeply it scared her, she had to give Javier what he needed in this moment. She took his hand in hers, guiding him round to face her, and met him in the half turn. She placed her palm against his cheek and pressed her other hand against his chest, locking her eyes with his.
‘Talk to me?’
She could see it—the desire in him to shut down, to close her out, just like he had done all those years before. But she could also see that he fought it, was struggling with the need to open up to her. That he was trying meant a lot to her, but that he won the battle gave her hope.
‘I am done with her.’
CHAPTER TEN
FORAMOMENTJavier wondered if he had conjured Emily from his deepest fantasies. He’d heard Santi and Mariana leave, knew that they would understand. Santi had known him long enough and well enough to know what he was like after one of Renata’s episodes.
But he’d usually managed to hide it from Emily. For most of their marriage, Renata had been occupied with husband number three, so it hadn’t been as much of a problem until she had left him, citing infidelity, nearly a month before Emily had walked away from Frigiliana without a second glance.
The warmth of Emily’s touch anchored him here with her when all he wanted to do was howl and rage and burn.
