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‘Of his ghost. He controlled me for so long that it is hard to believe I am finally free.’ She saw Daniele’s confused expression. ‘I grew up in a gilded cage and the Conte was my jailer. I was expected to make a good marriage to forge a link with another noble family, but one summer while my father was away on business, I met a handsome soldier who was home on leave, and I fell in love.’ Claudia sighed. ‘When I found out that I was pregnant, I was terrified of the Conte’s reaction and relieved when Luigi asked me to marry him. You were born a few months later, but my father was furious and banished me from the family home. I did not care if I never saw him again, but he refused to allow me to see my mother, who I adored.’
‘It must have been a difficult situation,’ Daniele conceded.
‘My marriage was unhappy. Your father spent a lot of time away on military postings, and when he came home, it was soon obvious that we were not suited. I had married to escape the Conte, but when my mother was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I desperately wanted to be with her.’
Claudia wiped her eyes. ‘My father gave me an ultimatum. I could return home to nurse my mother if I divorced Luigi and married the man my father had chosen for me. I begged to bring you with me, but he refused. It was a choice that no woman should ever have to make,’ she said huskily, ‘but I had been conditioned since childhood to be an obedient daughter. My mother needed me. I knew that your father and grandmother loved you, and so I... I left you behind. But it broke my heart to drive away. I hoped the Conte would relent and allow me to see you. When he did eventually permit you to visit, it was another stroke of cruelty. He told me to choose between you and Stefano to be the Farnesi heir.’
‘You chose my half-brother,’ Daniele said flatly.
‘The stipulation was that whichever son I chose would live at the Farnesi estate and the other would be sent away. If I had picked you, my husband and baby son would have been banished from the Conte’s house. I could have gone with them, but my mother was still alive, and I couldn’t leave her. Motor neurone disease was killing her slowly and horribly. My husband is a kindly man, but weak, which is why the Conte chose him.’ Claudia looked beseechingly at Daniele. ‘Stefano was just a toddler. I chose the son who needed his mother most. But I wrote to you often, and even though you never replied, I hoped you knew that I loved you.’
Daniele stared at his mother. ‘I did not receive one letter from you. It is hard to believe that every letter you say you sent was lost in the post.’ His cynical tone made Claudia flinch.
‘I wrote to you,’ she insisted. ‘Until you were eighteen and I learned from a neighbour of your father who I had kept in touch with that you had joined the army and moved away. Your grandmother had died, and I lost any means of contacting you. Years passed, and I read about an upcoming entrepreneur and IT wizard. I wanted to call you, but I was afraid of your response.’ A tear slid down her cheek. ‘I thought you might hate me, and I couldn’t blame you.’
Daniele’s mind was reeling. His mother’s story sounded genuine, and he was surprised by how badly he wanted to believe her. ‘Why didn’t I receive your letters? It can only be because you did not send them, and you are lying.’
‘I swear I sent them.’ Claudia stood up. ‘Perhaps Luigi or Elsa did not want you to read them.’
‘My father would not have kept them from me,’ Daniele said with certainty.
‘No, I don’t think so. Luigi was not a vindictive man. But I imagine your grandmother’s dislike of me increased after I left.’
Daniele remembered that Nonna Elsa had discouraged him from talking about his mother, and she’d had nothing good to say about Claudia Farnesi.
‘I’m sorry,mi figlio,’ his mother whispered. ‘If you did not receive my letters, you must have believed that I had abandoned you. But I prayed for you every day, and I will continue to do so for as long as I live.’
Claudia walked out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her. Daniele did not go after her. He did not know what to think. Either she was a liar, or his grandmother, whom he had been deeply fond of, had intervened to prevent him from having any contact with his mother.
How long he sat there alone with his thoughts, he could not say. Eventually he stood up and walked back to the dining room. The guests had gone and there was no sign of Paloma. He caught a glimpse of white on the balcony, and when he stepped outside, he found her leaning against the stone balustrade, her elbows resting on the wall and her chin cupped in her hands.
She was so beautiful. Something inside him cracked and he needed to be close to her, to touch her chestnut hair that she’d let down so that it rippled in silky waves around her shoulders. He ignored the voice in his head that said he’d never needed anyone, certainly not a woman. His mother’s revelations had left him feeling raw, and everything he thought he knew about himself, he now questioned.
Paloma turned when she heard his footsteps, and those incredible eyes the colour of lapis lazuli searched his face. ‘You spoke to your mother?’
‘Yes. Your little ruse worked,’ he said drily.
She blushed. ‘Are you angry with me?’
He sighed. ‘No. I appreciate that you were trying to help.’
‘Did it help to talk to her?’
Daniele filled Paloma in on what his mother had told him. ‘She could be lying about writing to me regularly throughout my childhood.’
‘But if she did send the letters, what happened to them?’
‘When Nonna Elsa died, she left instructions in her will that some files she kept locked in a bureau should be handed over to her lawyer. I had no reason to wonder what the files contained, but I’ll see what I can find out next week.’
Daniele captured one of Paloma’s hands in his and placed his other hand on her waist. She did not pull away, he noted, conscious that his heart was beating faster. ‘Will you dance with me?’
She looked puzzled. ‘Without music?’
Daniele selected a song from his phone’s playlist and propped the device on the balustrade. The smooth jazz number soothed his fraught emotions, but when he drew Paloma closer, she tilted her head and stared up at him.
‘The reception has finished and there are no guests who we must convince that our marriage is real. You don’t have to dance with me.’
‘Yes, I do,’ he said gruffly. He wanted to hold her. Wanted a good deal more than to simplyholdher, if he was honest. But having her in his arms while their bodies swayed in time with the music eased some of his tension—and evoked a different kind of physical tension in him, Daniele acknowledged self-derisively.
