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“That’s a very sweet idea,” I said, though I didn’t know if it would make much of a difference. Gloria hadn’t pursued a custody challenge. But she was who she was, and I was done making excuses for her.
My therapist and I had talked about it a lot the past few months. Gloria. Tessa. Elle. All of it.
After Tessa’s death, I’d immediately enrolled Maddox and Savannah in trauma counseling. Yet I’d never gone for myself. I’d made excuses, but the truth was that I’d been resistant to therapy. That had changed when Elle left.
After she’d gone to Japan, after she’d told me she needed to focus on herself, I’d started to spiral out of control again. I couldn’t go back to that place. Icouldn’t—for the kids, for myself.
It had made me realize that I’d never worked through my grief about Tessa’s death. Nor had I processed my complicated feelings surrounding Elle and our relationship. My heart felt raw, ripped wide open. And yet, in a way, I felt healed. Stronger than I had even a few months ago.
I was a different person since Tessa’s death. In some ways, I was better than before because I’d gained a new perspective. On life, on love, on loss. And while I sometimes wished Tessa could be here to see it, I was learning to appreciate how far I’d come.
I was finally feeling more centered again, and I was beginning to realize that I had choices. I couldchooseto spend my life alone. I couldchooseto feel stuck or out of control. Or I could accept that my decisions and my mind-set were the only things I could control.
“There’s River,” Savannah said as soon as we stepped inside. “Can I go say hi?”
“Of course.”
“Oh my gosh. I can’t wait to hold baby Hazel!” she squealed before running off in River’s direction.
I smiled. Savannah loved babies—human or animals. She’d always watched out for Maddox, and she adored River’s sister, Hazel. She’d spent most of Thanksgiving break at their house, helping out.
“Grannie!” Maddox said, launching himself into my mom’s arms.
I went over to greet my parents. My mom had hinted at my bringing “cabin girl” to Friendsgiving, but I’d brushed away her comments. How could I tell her that “cabin girl” was Elle?
I carried the vegetable platter over to the long table where the feast was laid out. I was surveying the offerings when Liam clapped a hand on my shoulder.
“Happy Friendsgiving.”
“Happy Friendsgiving.” I gave him a hug.
“Come. Come.” He ushered me down the hall toward one of the private rooms. As we neared the door, I realized it was the same room where we’d gotten ready for Bennett’s wedding.
It had been less than a year since that day, and yet it felt like a lifetime ago.
“Hey!” Bennett grinned when I stepped through the door.
“Hey.” I glanced between Enzo, Asher, and Liam as Bennett shut the door behind me. All my closest friends. And they were all watching me curiously. “What’s going on?”
Enzo poured a glass of wine for each of us then passed them around.
“To friendship,” he said, raising his glass for a toast. “Thank you all for welcomingun vecchietto—” He cleared his throat and smiled. “An old man like me into your circle.”
“You’re notthatold,” Asher said.
“Hell,” Liam chimed in. “Before Tristan’s makeover, he could’ve passed foryourolder brother.”
Everyone laughed, even as I narrowed my eyes at Liam in jest. Still, it felt good to laugh again. To live again, even if it felt as if half my heart was missing.
“LC did quite a number on you,” Asher said.
I squeezed my eyes shut.Damn it, Asher.
“Wait, LC as in Ellie?” Liam glanced around as if seeking confirmation. “That’s— She’s—” He paused. “I knew it! She’s why you were so happy. And now that she’s gone, you’ve been a mopey bastard again.”
“I have not—”
“He’s right,” Enzo cut in. “You have.”
