AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Because she’s their aunt!
“You can’t live your life for others. Trust me.” Bennett shook his head slowly. “I’ve been there. I was so concerned about what Liam would think about me dating his sister. How River would feel about me dating his mom. And I was miserable.”
Yeah, I was definitely miserable.
TWELVE
“Hey, Tess.” I placed my hand on the headstone, using the flashlight on my phone to illuminate the words “Beloved Wife and Mother” carved beneath her name. “How are you?”
I laughed at my ridiculous question, though the tears had already started.
“Yeah. I know. God, I still can’t believe you’re gone. I can’t believe it’s been a whole year.”And now I’m talking to your headstone.
I sat on the grass and crossed my legs. The ground was cold but dry, and I tried not to think of her buried beneath the earth.
“I got a tattoo.”
I lowered my shirt to reveal the skin just beneath my collarbone where I had a delicate line drawing of a chrysanthemum. My mother hated it, but it was the perfect way to honor Tessa’s memory. Tristan, on the other hand, had definitely seemed to like it.
I pushed away inappropriate thoughts of my sister’s husband and slid my shirt back into place. “You’re probably wondering why it took me so long to visit.”
Instead of explaining, I launched into an update about what had been going on, talking to her as I had when she was still alive. As I did, I continuously ran my hand over some of the blades of grass, their tips tickling my palm.
I was so excited to tell her about my success as a content creator. About my new friends and my future plans.
“I just finished my final exams,” I said. “If I score well enough, I’ll graduate and move to Japan.”
If I didn’t, well… I wasn’t sure what I’d do then.
Though staying here was becoming more and more appealing with every passing day.
At least, when I didn’t have to see my parents. I shook my head, thinking of my run-in with Mom on the anniversary of Tessa’s passing. It had been brutal, especially on that day of all days.
Ever since Tessa had died, it felt as if my mom blamed me for my sister’s death. As if I were somehow responsible for the loss of her favorite child. Her biological daughter, not the one her husband had fathered with another woman.
At least that was one thing to look forward to about leaving—no more family dinners. Though I’d suffer through them if it meant more time with Tristan and the kids.
I smiled through my tears as I told Tessa about the kids. I couldn’t imagine how devastating that had been for my sister—to worry that she’d never get to see them grow up. To realize that she’d miss so much of their lives if the surgery didn’t go well, and they’d miss her being part of them.
I was going to miss Maddox and Savannah when I moved to Japan, assuming I moved to Japan. Even so, I knew I could come back if I wanted. But the thought of being gone at all, let alone for a year, made me indescribably sad. Life was lived in the small, quiet moments. And I’d be missing them.
I stopped myself before I could tell her about Tristan. Because even though Tessa was gone, he was still very much hers.
And the closer we’d gotten to the anniversary of Tessa’s death, the more guilt I’d felt surrounding my feelings toward Tristan. Which was why I’d kept my distance the past few days; I’d practically lived at Pore Over in the evenings, using the excuse of my finals to justify my absence.
The library had always been Tessa’s place, and I couldn’t handle the pity and sadness from her former coworkers. Pore Over had amazing coffee and a cool atmosphere. Something about the vibe reminded me of Mr. Tulk Café at the State Library in Melbourne. Maybe it was the wood floors or the wall-to-wall bookshelves with the coziest chairs, but it felt familiar and inviting.
Plus, I frequently popped in on Harper and Wren. I was enjoying their friendship. Wren was passionate about photography, and crazy about her boys and baked goods. Sometimes I went to hang out at their studio, just so I could love on her adorable French bulldog, Toodles.
I loved hearing about Harper’s adventures. I’d been giving her content ideas for the vineyard she owned with her husband, Enzo. As well as working with Harper and Wren on some ways to best position the photography studio, especially the boudoir shoots. It felt good to use my skills, and they seemed to really appreciate my help.
I didn’t know how Harper juggled everything she did—wife to a former soccer superstar, mom, photographer, winery owner. But she seemed happy. Actually, she and Enzo reminded me a lot of Tristan and Tessa. High-achieving. Loving. Community-minded.
I shivered, blaming it on the coolness from the ground seeping into my pants. “Anyway,” I said, knowing it was getting late. “I just wanted to come say hi. And I’m sorry.”
I wrapped my arms around my legs and pulled them to my chest. I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for. Not being there when she needed me. Missing the funeral. Lusting after her husband. All of it.
I sighed and grabbed my bike, riding home. The house was dark when I wheeled my bike up the back path. Rex lifted his head but then went back to sleep.
