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“Kissing,” I said, toying with the ends of his hair. It was silky and smooth. “Living.”
He shook his head slowly and backed away. Severing our touch and breaking the spell. “I’ll only end up hurting you.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Believe what you want, princess.” He glared at me. “It’s the truth.”
“Princess?” I crossed my arms over my chest, annoyed by the nickname. What did he think I was? A spoiled brat?
He growled and put his back to me, chin lifted to the ceiling. “Go to bed, Ellie.”
Ellie. Not Elle. Seriously? I gnashed my teeth, stung by the sudden shift in his demeanor. “I’m not a child.”
When I didn’t move, he spun to me with anger in his eyes, and it felt as if he was chastising me. “Go. To. Bed,” he said through gritted teeth. “Before I do or say something we’ll both regret.”
Too late for that.
THIRTEEN
“What. The. Fuck?” The words were muttered under my breath as I stomped out to the backyard. If Ellie wouldn’t go upstairs, then I would leave. Because I sure as hell couldn’t stay inside after that kiss. Not with her there to tempt me.
I’d been asking what the fuck. But I should’ve been askingwhat the fuck is wrong with me?
I mean, my late wife’s much younger sister?Really?
And yet, I was drawn to Ellie.
My body didn’t seem to care that she wasn’t even twenty-one. That it was a shitty thing to do—get her drunk and then kiss her. She’d said life was too short not to live the way you wanted, but what if what you wanted was wrong?
Light from the kitchen spilled onto the backyard. I stomped farther into the garden and stumbled over a shovel, the metal scraping against the stone path. “Goddammit.”
I caught myself before I could fall and picked up the shovel, ready to toss it aside. Instead, I glanced around. It was as if I was seeing the backyard for the first time. And it was a mess.
The garden had always been Tessa’s domain. But since her diagnosis, it had been neglected. Forgotten. Then she’d died, and I’d never had the time or inclination to do anything about it.
I could’ve hired someone like Enzo’s mother-in-law, Linda Allen, to bring it back to life, but it felt wrong somehow. Allowing the plants to bloom and flourish even as my beautiful wife withered beneath the ground.
Anger burned through me. Some of it was rage that Tessa was gone. A bigger part of it was disappointment in myself.
Without thinking, I started hacking at the roots of the first dead plant I saw. I wassosick of death.
I attacked another bush. The kids were asleep upstairs. It was the middle of night, and someone would likely complain about this toThe Vine. But I. Didn’t. Fucking. Care.
For the first time in a year, I felt alive. Alive and angry and… I panted. I was reeling from that kiss.
Not justakiss. A fuckingamazingkiss.
I chopped down another bush, satisfaction humming through my veins. Every time the shovel hit dirt, I kept going.
All the while, her words kept playing through my mind. Tessa’s words.Life is too short.I chanted it in my head like a mantra. Followed by Ellie’s words.Life’s too short not to live the way you want.
I stopped for a moment, wiping the sweat from my brow. I was covered in dirt. My skin tingled with awareness, and I stood and glanced at the house.
Ellie was standing in the doorway, and for a moment, we stared at each other, the tension stretching between us. I was so sick of doing everything right. Everything expected of me. For once, I wanted to say fuck it and do what I wanted.
I wanted to kiss her for standing her ground with me when she let her mother walk all over her. I wanted to punish her for defying me. I wanted… I heaved in a shaky breath. So many things.
I stalked toward her until we stood chest to chest on the back porch, our breaths sawing in and out. I hated seeing the pain in her eyes when I’d told her to go to bed. I’d been trying to protect her, but she was right—I’d treated her like a child.
