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The popcorn strings and paper chains she and Michael had made for Asher’s party still lay on her kitchen counters. TheColorado Blue Spruce that they’d made into a little Christmas tree sat on the kitchen table. They’d never gotten around to making the star because they’d gotten the message about Hannah and the kids.
She had really thought that Michael was different.
She had believed that they had a future.
In just a couple of days, she had stopped seeing him as just her friend and started seeing him as the person that she could share her life with, and she had already been daydreaming about what it would be like.
And now just like that, without even giving her a chance to weigh in, it was over, and he was gone.
She’d been wrong.
Michael hadn't really been in love with her, he wasn't different, he was just the same as everyone else in her life. He saw her as a responsibility that he had to take care of and then once he’d done that he was done.
As bad as she felt right now, she would get through this.
It would leave a scar.
A big one.
But over time scars faded and hers would too.
Just like all her other scars had faded.
Maybe allowing herself to be vulnerable to Michael had helped her cross the barrier that had been holding her back, keeping her tethered to the past. She was finally ready to heal and move forward.
She wanted happiness, a family, a future.
As much as it hurt to look at the bonsai tree decorated as a little Christmas tree, she resisted the urge to take off the popcorn string and put the tree back outside with the others. She was going to leave it as it was, then every time she looked at it, she would remember what Michael had given her.
“You got this,” she reminded herself aloud. “Let’s make you astar, little Christmas tree.”
Samara grabbed a roll of foil and a cardboard cereal box from the recycling, drew a star, and then cut it out. Once she’d wrapped the foil around it, she took it to the tree and set it on top. As much as she wished she was doing this with Michael, she was proud of herself for being able to do it on her own. Her whole life Christmas had been a symbol of the lack of family that she had, so standing here alone in her kitchen with her own Christmas tree was such a big step for her.
“You’re stronger than you think you are.” She would say it as many times as she needed to, as many times as it took to sink in, and one day she knew it would.
One Year Later
DECEMBER 24th
3:44 P.M.
Christmas Eve was here again.
It was like she had blinked and the last year had passed.
It was hard to believe that this time last year she had woken up in the hospital thinking that she and Michael had their whole lives to spend together only to learn that he had left.
She hadn't heard from him since.
Samara sighed and lay down on her bed.
Another Christmas.
Another Christmasalone.
Over the last twelve months, Samara had changed a lot. She’d strengthened her relationships with her family and her friends. She worked even harder at her job, she’d even started a charity to support other victims of stalking. She had also jumped into the dating scene. So far none of them had turned into anything serious, but it felt good to finally move forward.
Now that Christmas was back though, she couldn’t stop thoughts of Michael from invading her mind. Part of her still wanted him, which was stupid, he had made it abundantly clear that a relationship with her wasn’t what he wanted.
