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In response, he turns sideways and ushers me into his room. I smell his musk as I brush past.
I was in this room earlier. I slept here, in this bed, with Kirill’s body curled around me. But now, I don’t let myself get within arm’s reach of that little Egyptian cotton oasis. Instead, I stay upright and lean back against the dresser.
“Make yourself comfortable.” Kirill flops back into bed with a grace I could only dream of possessing. He lifts his arm up to rest it against the headboard, his abs stretching taut. It’s obscene. Borderline pornographic.
“I’m comfortable right here,” I mumble.
He shrugs. Says nothing.
We stare at each other until it becomes clear I’m going to have to be the person to break this silence. I cross my arms over my chest, brushing away the chills moving up and down my arms. “I figured I should explain… everything. Today. Why I called you.”
“You needed me. You don’t need to explain that.”
His green eyes are unbelievably intense. My heart jumps at the possibility that things with Kirill could really be that simple. But I know better. We’ve been down this road. It didn’t end simply. Not by a long shot.
I steel myself against the pull of him and plunge forward. “I tried to call Harmony and Natalia, but they didn’t answer. I wasn’t sure I could trust my sisters. You were the only person nearby I could think of.”
“Sure, that makes sense. If I hadn’t been around, you probably would have let any stranger off the street spoon you in bed, right?”
“That’s not what I’m—I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
He scoffs. “Believe me, you don’t have to worry about that. I understand our relationship perfectly, Rayne.”
“Why are you saying it like that?” I snap. “You sound like you’re agreeing with me, but yousoundargumentative.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“You sound smug, too.”
“Did you really come into my room in the middle of the night—definitely not to have sex, as you mentioned—but to fight?”
“No, I—” I drag a hand down my face. I’ve never felt so exhausted in all my life. It’s impossible to believe I napped earlier. I’m about to collapse. “Why do we always end up fighting?”
“Tension, probably.” Kirill answers quickly like he’s thought a lot about this. “There’s too much tension between us. If we aren’t fucking, we’re fighting. It has to be one or the other. These things need an outlet.”
I press my legs together, wishing I could get rid of the quivering between my thighs. “Let’s do something different then. Tonight, we aren’t going to do either.”
He waves me on. “By all means, lead the way.”
I try, but nerves overwhelm me. I clear my throat. “Out on the couch, I thought telling you everything might make me feel better. Now, I think it might just give you a shortcut to every single one of my pressure points.”
“I already know where those are,” he says, that smugness back in his tone. “Behind your ear, at the base of your throat, on the inner curve of your—”
“My emotional pressure points,” I specify, rolling my eyes even as I blush harder. “But if I don’t tell you, well… I’m not sure who I can tell. Because family is important to you. I feel like you’ll understand.”
Kirill sits up. “What is it, Rayne? What did he do?”
“Wait, what? Who?”
His full lips press into a flat line. “I know you went to meet up with your father. What did he say to you?”
I thought I’d done all my crying already, but tears fill my eyes again. I laugh at how ridiculous I’m being. “I don’t know why I’m crying. It’s so… absurd. There’s nothing to cry about. It’s not like my dad and I had a great relationship anyway. He was never there for me. He didn’t try to reach out or bond. It was always more of a formality. What about my life is actually different, you know?”
“Something, it seems.” Kirill turns so his legs are hanging off the edge of the bed. He pats the spot next to him. “Come here.”
I told myself I wouldn’t go near the bed, but the moment Kirill beckons me towards him, I’m helpless. I’m a bug drawn to the light, oblivious to the electrocution waiting at the center.
I sit next to him and tuck my bare feet up onto the edge of the frame. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
