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Hope flickers inside of me. “Loyalty is a good thing.”
“It is,” he nods. “So is dedication. Determination. All admirable qualities I possess. I wouldn’t want Kirill to think I don’t have goals, after all. I’d hate for him to think I leave projects half-finished.”
“I can tell him that you… you apologized to me?” I offer cautiously. “I can tell him we sorted everything out.”
He drops my hair and lets his hand drift over my shoulder and down my arm. His grip tightens uncomfortably around my elbow. “How about, instead, you tell him I’m the kind of man who always finishes what I start?”
I’m not sure what he means until he jerks me against his body hard enough that it knocks the breath out of me.
I’m still trying to fill my lungs with fresh air when he smashes his mouth against mine. His movements are graceless and painful. My eyes water and I can taste the tang of blood in my mouth.
I can barely hear the hum of the party from here. It’s almost like we’re in another world.
“Don’t scream,” Sasha pants once he pulls back. His finger dig into my flesh. “No one will hear you anyway, and I’d hate to gag you with your own panties, but I will.” He must see the fear in my eyes because his gaze grows brighter. Almost like he thrives on the fear. “Maybe you’d like that, actually? Do you and Kirill role play? Does he tie you up like a helpless victim and pretend to be the Big Bad Wolf hiding in your closet?” Sasha digs his teeth into my neck, and I gasp in pain.
His mouth on my body makes me feel sick, but I push past the nausea. “Kirill never needed to prove he was tougher than me.”
“Figures,” he snorts. “He’s a vanilla missionary kind of guy, isn’t he? It’s always the ones you least expect.”
I shove his hands away for a second so I can think straight. “No. Kirill didn’t need to scare me because… because he loved me.”
The admission is a sliver of sunshine on the darkest day. For a second, I feel like I can breathe again.
Sasha snorts. “Loved you enough to keep you as his maid for five years?”
I can’t hear the asshole’s words anymore. Nothing else exists except the refrain I’ve been struggling to accept.
Kirill loves me.
Sasha is the kind of depraved man who wants to use me for a quick, nasty fuck—the more painful for me, the better it is for him. He’s the kind of man who doesn’t see me as anything more than a warm body for him to conquer and ruin.
True to form, he pushes against my shoulders and pins me to the wall, his knees struggling to inch apart my thighs. “Come on, baby. Play along and I’ll make it nice for you.”
Kirill never treated me like this. Ever. Not even for pretend.
Because helovesme.
Finally, I believe it.
Finally, that’s enough.
52
KIRILL
“I’m sick of this fucking party,” I grimace.
German mumbles something incoherent next to me, but I’m too busy scanning the crowd to look at him.
“If it wasn’t for—” I cut myself off and blow out a breath.
She’s not here.
I scan the room again, but I still don’t see Rayne. She must be hiding out in the kitchen. Despite her big proclamation that she is totally capable of taking care of herself, she’s done her level best to avoid trouble all night.
Of course, part of that is my doing. Natalia has been keeping Sasha awash in drinks and crab cakes since he got here, making sure he doesn’t have time to bother Rayne.
Though, on another quick scan, I realize I don’t see Sasha anymore, either.
