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“Let me go!” I jerk away from him, almost slipping again before I gain my footing. “What the hell was that for?”
“I would have tossed you in a cold shower, but this was the best I could come up with under the circumstances.”
“A cold—Why?” I hiss.
He scoffs. “You were the one standing in a crowded bar telling everyone how horny and desperate you are. If there has ever been a need for a cold shower, this is it.”
My face flames. “It was a joke,” I grumble. “Not that you should care, anyway. You’re the one who told me to leave you alone.”
“You didn’t listen back then, you don’t listen now. Like I said, nothing has changed.”
I kick water at him. It’s childish, but there’s a satisfaction in watching him get even half as soaked as I am. “You don’t know a damn thing about my life, Kirill. So don’t pretend like you do.”
“Fine. Tell me then. How are you so different?” he challenges.
I shake my head. “You don’t have a right to know about my life. You left and didn’t come back for five years. Five fucking years, Kirill. Why should I tell you anything?”
Yuliana’s face appears in my mind. Her full lips and green eyes… just like her dad’s.
Even now, part of me wants to tell Kirill about her. She’s so beautiful and wonderful. Everyone needs that kind of joy in their lives.
But this is exactly why I can’t have Kirill in my life. All it takes is five minutes of us alone before we’re fighting and making a scene and screaming. I won’t bring that into Yuliana’s world if I don’t have to.
Kirill’s eyes narrow. “You know why I left.”
I sigh. The sadness in me opens up and bottoms out. “You know how sorry I am about Ilya.”
We both flinch at his name. Clearly, Kirill has talked about his grief as much as I have in the past five years: in other words, not at all.
“I really—I can’t tell you how sorry I am. There are no words. My heart breaks for you, then and now. But that doesn’t take away the fact that the very next morning, you left without a single word.”
His brows arrow downward. “Forgive me for not making you the center of my universe in the immediate aftermath of my brother’s death.”
“That is not what I meant! I didn’t expect you to be focused on me, but I wanted to help you. I could have helped.”
“Meaningless sex wouldn’t have brought my brother back,” he barks. “That’s all you were good for, anyway.”
My jaw drops and a hurt I can’t explain blossoms through me. Kirill splashes through the water to the beach, but I just watch him go.
As Kirill grows smaller, disappearing into the parking lot of the bar, I notice Natalia standing under a lamp post. She has both of our jackets tossed over her arm, my purse on her shoulder.
I take a deep breath and trudge through the water towards her.
“That went… well,” Natalia says.
She’s trying to lighten the mood, but I can tell by the way she squeezes my shoulder that she knows the night is beyond salvageable.
* * *
Halfway back to my house, I blink and realize we’ve been driving for a while. I don’t even remember getting in the car.
“I’m soaking wet,” I say, patting my sopping jeans. “I’m sorry about your seat.”
Natalia waves me away. “I don’t care about that. As long as you’re okay, I’m okay.”
“I’m okay,” I say.
Physically, I am. Kirill didn’t hurt me.
