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She frowns. “What does that—”
“I lived for my brother. Every decision I made was to keep him safe, to make sure he could live a comfortable life. I was engaged to a woman I didn’t love to make sure I had strong allies who would look after my brother if I died. I isolated myself to keep Ilya’s secret safe. I sacrificed everything for him. And now, he’s gone.”
“So you’re desperate to fill that hole in your life? I’m not going to be a stand in for—”
“I’m not desperate; I’m free.” I close the gap between us, standing so there’s only a breath of space between our bodies. “I’m free to go after what I want. And I want you, Rayne.”
26
RAYNE
“I want you, Rayne.”
How many times have I imagined Kirill saying those exact words to me? How many times have I dreamed of this exact moment?
For five years, I’ve lived my life and taken care of Yuliana. It's been good. Yuliana is wonderful. I’ve lived and done my best.
Underneath it all, though, a silly hope existed. Hope that Kirill would come back. That he would swoop through the door, embrace me, love Yuliana, and take care of both of us.
Like a little girl clinging to tales of fairies and magic, I clung to Kirill.
But here’s the problem: now that it’s really happening, I can’t buy into the fantasy.
“No.” I shake my head and back away. “No, Kirill. You don’t want me."
“Don’t tell me what I want,” he growls.
“Don’t give me hope when there is none,” I bite back. “You don’t want me; you want to have sex with me. There's a difference."
"You think that's all this is?"
"The chemistry between us is real. It always has been. But that does not mean you want to be part of my life.”
His eyes are dangerous. “Why the fuck not?”
“Because you don’t know a damn thing about my life!” The words rip from my chest and my heart, dancing dangerously close to the truth. Too close.
“What does that mean?”
I force air into my constricted lungs. “It means… It means we are from different worlds. There is no world where the two of us belong together.”
“Of course there is.”
He speaks with a confidence I’ve never felt in my entire existence. For a second, I hate him. The world bows at Kirill’s feet, and he knows it. Life has never been like that for me.
Then the feeling passes and I’m simply exhausted beyond words. I don’t want to convince the man I’ve spent the last five years dreaming about that we can’t be together. It hurts too much.
Lying to myself hurts worse.
“Where?" I ask. "Which fantasy world do you live in that we make sense?”
He closes the distance between us again and wraps an arm around my waist. I want to push him away, but I want him to draw me close even more. I want this human comfort. God, how I need it.
He grabs my hand and lifts it to his mouth. His full lips press against my knuckles. “If this one doesn’t fit us, I’ll tear it down.”
I roll my eyes, even as my heart flutters. As the ache between my legs grows.
“You can’t destroy the entire world, Kirill.”
