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“The way she’d get an idea to redecorate the house and suddenly, half the living room would be on the lawn and she’d be painting. Or when she wanted to buy this home gym off of a commercial on television and she took all of the storage boxes in the basement to the dump to make room. It happened in one afternoon. My school papers and baby clothes and toys—gone.”
“Mom could be impulsive,” I admit. “She didn’t always think things through.”
“Like cheating on Dad… I’d love to know what she was thinking when she decided to do that.”
The truth is, I don’t know if Mom was thinking. She had a tendency to lead with her heart. In a lot of ways, it was the thing I loved most about her. She was all emotion and warmth and feelings. Being with her felt like being wrapped in a rainbow.
Then again, the other side of that is that she didn’t always put her family or her kids first. Clearly.
“We still have the box of letters, don’t we?” I ask. “I think I gave it back to Alexis.”
Lana and Alexis gave me the letters Mom kept from her secret lover, including copies of what she wrote to him, but I could never bring myself to read them. I didn’t want to tarnish the memory I have of my Mom any more than it already had been. Reading the letters wouldn’t change anything for the better for me, so I figured it was best to leave them alone. But if they could help Lana…
“I’ve read them, but she doesn’t mention you or me or Alexis in them. Or Dad, even,” she says. “Whatever she was doing with that guy, it didn’t have anything to do with us. I’m not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.”
“It would be nice to ask her about it now.”
Lana turns to me with a sigh. “I know what you’re getting at.”
“Dad is right in the other room,” I say softly. “You can’t work things out with Mom anymore, but all these questions of mine could have answers sitting twenty feet away. The same might not be true if in a few months—”
“Weeks, maybe.” Lana’s chin dimples as she fights back tears. “One of the doctors said it could be a matter of weeks.”
“In a few weeks, those answers could be dead and gone. Don’t I owe it to myself to talk to him about this while I can? Even if it’s upsetting?”
Lana tucks her hair behind her ears and nods in obvious resignation. “Do what you want, Rayne. But not tonight. They’re going to have a sleepover.”
“Who?”
“Dad, Pat, and the kids.” She hitches a thumb over her shoulder. “Brady and Lily are building a blanket fort now. Yuliana asked to sleep under the purple blanket hanging off the back of the couch.”
I can hear Yuliana and Lily singing a silly song about baby bumblebees. Dad is discussing the finer points of blanket fort architecture with Brady while Pat drapes Christmas lights from the furniture to get the right lighting effect.
It’s a nice moment. I don’t want to have to ruin it.
“Yuliana has been having a hard time. I’m not sure it’s a good idea for her to stay here without me. The hotel would probably be—”
“Dad told me about Yuliana,” Lana blurts.
I freeze. “What?”
“Don’t be mad at him. He wasn’t gossiping or anything. He was asking if I had any advice that he could share with you. He wanted to be the one to help. I think he hoped it would bring the two of you closer.”
Coming from the guy who saidFamily doesn’t have secrets, I don’t know why I’m surprised he told Lana about Yuliana.
“He told me you’re worried about her behavior, and I get that,” Lana says. “I do. But hovering won’t make things better. Maybe you both need some space.”
I raise my brows. “You think Yuliana is acting out because I’m a helicopter mom?”
“No, that’s not what I—Enjoy the hotel room,” she says. “That’s what I’m saying. Go back to the hotel. Enjoy the quiet. Leave Yuliana to me for a few hours.”
I chew on my lower lip. It does sound nice to spend a night on my own. It’s been years since I’ve had an uninterrupted soak in a tub.
Lana hums. “I can see you mulling it over. You want to do it.”
“Of course I do. That doesn’t mean I should.”
“You’re ten minutes away. I’ll stay here tonight and call if anything goes wrong.”
