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Liam pulls out the chair beside his father and waits as I sit down before tucking the chair back in. He helps Deja into the seat beside me before sitting down on the other side of Deja, effectively blocking her from his mother. Though I’m nervous, I appreciate he’s already protecting her the best he can under the circumstances.
Deja looks at me, her eyes wide, before she turns and stares at the chandeliers and candles. Waiters roam around the restaurant, dressed in white shirts with black pants and vests. It’s nicer than anywhere we’ve ever been, and I feel completely out of place.
Stephen and Jason start talking about the businesses they run while Liam ignores his mother’s attempts to talk to him. Instead, he talks to Deja about photography while I feel the walls of the room closing in around me.
Just as dinner is being served, a couple of more people appear, sitting down at the table beside Jason and introducing themselves as old family friends. I fall into conversation with the rest of the table, but the feeling of being an outsider still doesn’t fade. I’m reminded of it with each bite of steak I take, wondering when the magic spell will break, transporting me back to reality.
“Excuse me for a moment,” I say, pushing back from the table when the panic rises too high to continue ignoring.
I weave through the tables, feeling sick to my stomach, as I head for the bathroom. Standing over the sink, I look at myself in the mirror. My chest is heaving as I try to calm down. Nothing bad has happened yet. Nothing bad is going to happen. Liam has promised we’re okay here.
“Well, if it isn’t the little whore that’s ruining my son’s engagement,” Elaine says as she walks into the bathroom, a smirk on her face. “You would think you would know better than to show your face here, but then again, what can really be expected of a woman like you?”
I stand straighter and cross my arms as I turn to face her. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
“I will not see my son with a black woman, no matter what he says. It’s unseemly. He needs to be with a woman like Chloe, who understands what his life is like. You’re nothing but trouble with excessive amounts of baggage, and all you will do is hold him back.”
I want to scream and storm out but that will only prove her point. Instead, I put on a saccharine smile and step closer to her. She blinks, the smile never leaving her face.
“You listen to me, I will not be judged as lesser than because of the color of my skin. Not by you. Not by anyone. I love your son, and he is a grown man. He can make his own choices, and he has chosen me and my daughter. It is no business of yours.”
“Liam hasn’t woken up and realized that dating the help is frowned upon.”
I scoff and shake my head. “You know, I feel sorry for you. You’ve lived your entire life being racist, and it’s going to cost you everything you love, assuming your shriveled little heart is even capable of love.”
“What are you going to do?” she says, rolling her eyes. “Tell Liam what I said? How childish.”
I don’t bother to respond, instead whipping out my phone from my clutch purse and walking back out into the restaurant and smiling at Deja. “I don’t feel so good, honey. How about we get an Uber home and go watch some movies?”
Deja’s eyebrows furrow, but she doesn’t say anything as she stands up. Liam looks at me, a question in his eyes. I shake my head and take my daughter’s hand, leading her away from these people. Vaguely, I hear the dragging of a chair, probably Liam pushing his back and trying to make his way over to us.
“Are you okay, Mom?” Deja asks, dropping my hand to loop her arm around my waist and press herself against my side.
“I will be soon. I just don’t feel well.”
“Tracey, wait!” Liam’s voice carries through the restaurant as Deja and I leave.
Liam catches up with us just as Deja gets into the Uber. I pause, closing the door and turning to face him with my arms crossed over my chest. I harden myself against whatever means he might use to try to convince me to stay, reminding myself I won’t put up with a woman like that… not even for him.
“What happened in there?” His eyes search my face.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Tracey, it matters to me. Please tell me.”
I sigh and shake my head, glancing back at my daughter. “I told you I would protect her above all else. As long as your mother is in your life, I won’t be in it. This isn’t an ultimatum either. She’s your mother and you need her.”
“Then what is this?” he asks, sounding as broken as I feel.
Tears spring to my eyes, blurring my vision. I can feel a lump rising in my throat as I reach up to cup his face. “This is goodbye.”
“Tracey, please don’t do this.” His eyes plead with me.
Everything in me wants to cave, to fall into his arms and overlook the fact that his mother is a horrible person. I won’t ask him to choose between us. I can’t. Instead, I’ll do the only thing I can do—end the relationship before we get in too deep. Before things are said that can’t be taken back. Before the hate from his mother embeds itself into Deja’s life.
“I love you.” His voice is steeped with emotion.
“I love you too,” I say, tears streaming down my cheeks as I open the car door. “But sometimes even love isn’t enough.”
