AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Sorry, I’m just a little distracted.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
He pauses a minute before speaking again. “Well, we’re heading out to dinner tonight. I think Chuck made some reservations somewhere downtown for Sonia’s birthday. Want to join us?”
“Um, I think I’m just going to stay in tonight. Maybe get some rest or whatever.”
“Okay,” he answers hesitantly. “You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” he says, clearly unconvinced. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Sure.” I hang up the phone and stare at it.
I breathe out a puff of air.I feel like I’m playing a waiting game and the odds are against me. I need to clear my head, get some air.
I grab my keys and walk out to my car, overcast skies hovering above with the threat of rain. I sit for a minute with the ignition started, debating on where to go. But I have nowhere to go. My life has always been my work and this home that I made out to be a sanctuary, but the quiet and emptiness inside is stifling, making it everything but a place of refuge. So I pull out of my driveway and drive.
My mind wanders, and I drive aimlessly. For hours, I have no destination. And then, as the day begins to settle, I end up in front of Ellie’s house. I have no plan, no strategy. Just the idea that if Ellie is in front of me, things will right themselves. I have to face the reality that she may not want to speak to me, not want to have anything to do with me. But none of that matters. I have to see her.
My heart beats erratically, feeling like it’s jumped into my throat. As soon as I walk up to her front step, the door opens before I even have a chance to knock. But it’s not Ellie. It’s her friend, Claire.
“I saw you pull up,” she answers my unspoken question. Her arms are crossed in front of her. She looks at me with annoyance, and it’s clear that she’s aware of every word Ellie and I exchanged. “She’s not here.”
“Do you know where I can find her?”
She scoffs at my question. “Why? So you can break her heart all over again?”
I flinch. “I just need to talk to her,” I try to explain.
I cling to one thought. That I need a chance. Just a moment with her so I can explain what happened. Even if she doesn’t want me anymore, I need her to know how I feel. She needs to know that I regret everything I said, and I grieve for every second I didn’t get to spend with her.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Actually, I think you need to leave.” She starts to close the door, taking my chance to talk to Ellie with her.
“Wait!” I put my hand up to stop the door from closing.
She turns on her feet to face me, the sudden movement causing me to take a step back. “Do you even know why I’m here? Watching her like a fucking hawk like she’s some fragile porcelain doll?” she asks, her voice trembling with anger. “I’m here because I’m waiting for her to fall. She’s barely holding herself together, so I’m here to catch her when she does. Do you even know what that’s like? To watch her barely hold herself together? Becauseyouput her there?”
I sigh deeply, my brows furrowed before I plead. “Look, I know I fucked up. I know that to my core. But… this life isn’t easy. The constant criticism. Privacy isn’t something that I have an abundance of. And they tore her apart. I didn’t want to keep hurting her, so I pushed her away.” Claire’s hands drop to her sides as she continues to listen to me speak. “But that wasn’t fair. I… I need her to know that I messed up. I made a mistake.”
She sighs. “I’ve seen her in a dark place. She’s been through a lot. She has these walls up that she thinks no one notices. And now, they’re up so high that evenIcan’t get past them. Please, don’t break her heart any more than you already have,” she pleads to me. Her anger towards me has dissipated. It’s been replaced with earnest concern for her best friend.
“I know I don’t deserve a second chance. But I will spend the rest of my life fighting for it. I need to make things right. I love her.”
She wears a stunned look on her face, although she’s trying to hide it. But it’s the honest truth. I fell in love with this woman that unconditionally accepted who I am. I fell completely in love with her, and I can’t walk away from that.
Claire finally surrenders, her gaze settling past me as she works through her reluctance. “She’s at work.”
I feel victorious, hopeful that I’m getting somewhere. Maybe a bit closer to Ellie, even if it’s a mere inch. I’ll take what I can get. I look at her, waiting for her to continue.
She reaches her open hand out to me. “Give me your phone. I’ll Google search the bookstore for you.”
I comply, handing it to her and waiting patiently as she types in the address.
“She gets off in an hour. I was supposed to pick her up, but I guess you can meet her there,” she says as she hands me back my phone. “But if you ever hurt her again, I will literally hunt you down and kill you.”
