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I sigh, trying to let go of the hatred, because I know it’s not good for me. “I told him what Jock was doing to Jamie. I mean, Jesus, Jamie wasn’t even my dad’s kid, but he was appalled. He asked me if we had passports. I said we had, because Jock and Mum had taken us to France for a couple of days, mainly to buy cheap wine. Dad then went quiet for a couple of days, and I thought I’d blown it, and that I wouldn’t hear from him again. And then, out of the blue, there was a knock on the door, and there he was, with Koro. The two of them had gone around the family and scraped together all their savings for two tickets to Scotland.”
“I can’t imagine how you must have felt.”
“Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Mum screamed when she saw him and tried to shut the door on them, but Dad forced his way in. He came into the living room, and I saw him and I knew immediately it was him. I jumped up and threw myself into his arms, and he gave me the biggest hug.”
I stop for a moment, covering my face as my voice turns husky with emotion, then run my hands through my hair. “Jamie came into the room, and Koro picked him up and hugged him, even though obviously he wasn’t related to him in any way. And Dad said, ‘We want to take the boys.’ Jock yelled, ‘You can’t do that.’ He didn’t want to let us go because he got child payment for the two of us. So Koro got out an envelope, and he said, ‘There’s a thousand dollars in here. It’s all we can afford. Take it and give us the boys. Or we’ll do it through the courts and it’ll cost you a fortune.’ A thousand dollars is five hundred pounds—that’s nothing, really. But Jock snatched up the money and said, ‘Good riddance.’”
“What about your mother?” Sidnie asks, appalled.
“She walked into her bedroom and closed the door. She didn’t even say goodbye.”
Sidnie pressed her fingers to her lips, her eyes glistening. “That’s awful.”
“Yeah. Now, I understand that she must have had severe mental problems. But even so, the little boy inside me can’t forgive her.”
“So you just got on a plane and came here?”
“Yep. Once we were here, Dad and Koro did it all legally, and Dad got custody of both of us. It was tougher with Jamie because of course he wasn’t his son. They eventually tracked down his father, though, who wasn’t interested in him at all, and both he and Mum just signed everything they sent. It was a headache for Dad at the time, and there must have been moments when he regretted doing it, I’m sure. But I never saw it in him or his family. They took us in immediately, and they showered us both with love and affection.”
“And so that’s why Jamie does what he does?”
“Yeah. He always says he owes me everything. He missed me terribly when I went to uni. When I graduated, and after Dad died, I got the money from Intel, and I offered to pay for Jamie to go to university too, but he said he didn’t want to be away from me again. I was in the process of starting Koru Tech, and he announced he was going to be there for me and do whatever I needed. I just laughed at the time, but he stuck to his words. He looked after everything—getting an apartment, driving me around, getting my groceries, organizing a housekeeper, whatever needed doing, so that I could focus on the work. I barely saw the light of day for several years. You know what I’m like—I get obsessed, and I was twice as bad then as I am now. He made sure I ate and exercised and forced me to keep to a routine. He fielded calls and meetings with Nadine and acted like a bouncer so I wasn’t constantly interrupted. I don’t know what I’d have done without him.”
Sidnie looks out of the window for a moment. The sky is now purple, the same color as the bruise on her arm. I study her face—her straight nose, pale skin, her Cupid’s bow, her crazy hair. She’s so fucking beautiful. How did I end up with a girl as gorgeous as this, both inside and out?
“Elizabeth said you don’t trust women,” she says, turning her gaze back to me. “Do you think that’s right?”
“Maybe it was.” I take her hand and kiss it.
“I can’t believe you trust me,” she whispers. “After what I did, taking photos of your research, that’s so close to your heart. Do you really forgive me for it?”
“You did it for your father. I’d have done the same, if someone had offered me the money when my dad was sick. Of course I forgive you.”
She leans over me then. “Dr. Mack Hart. You just make me melt, you know that?”
I chuckle. “You find it incredible that someone could forgive you?” I stroke a finger across one of her eyebrows. “You’re like the essence of summer and sunshine, sweetheart. Bright and warm and full of joy. I don’t believe you could knowingly be dishonest or deceitful. You were the worst spy in the history of spy-dom.”
“I was, a bit.” She kisses me. Lifts her head to look at me. Then kisses me again, longer this time.
When she eventually moves back again, I give a long sigh. I’m tired—it’s been a hell of a day. “Do you really want to go to the party tonight?”
She smiles. “Not really.”
“What do you say we stay indoors? Get Gus up here, order some Uber Eats, play a bit of PlayStation, then watch a movie until midnight?”
“I think that sounds like the best night ever.”
I laugh. “Come on, then.”
We get up and take off our party outfit. She’s brought a fresh shirt and jeans with her for tomorrow but nothing comfortable, so I lend her one of my T-shirts to lounge around in, enjoying the way it hangs on her smaller frame, and the fact that it leaves her legs bare.
I go down to Jamie’s and fetch Gus, and tell Jamie that we’re in for the night. We exchange a hug and wish each other Happy New Year. Then I go back up to the apartment, and Sid and I dial for takeout after deciding on Thai food.
It doesn’t take long to come, and we dish it up into bowls, take it into the living room, and watch a movie while we eat. The sun sinks into the ocean, and the sky slowly darkens, the stars popping out on the velvety blackness.
When the movie finishes, we take Gus for a walk up in the garden, then come back and decide to watch another movie, full from the dinner and content to stretch out and just be together. When that one finally comes to an end, we pick up the PlayStation controllers and spend the rest of the time as we wait for midnight playingThe Two of Ustogether, fighting giant wasps and flying planes through tunnels to escape. It’s the first time I’ve played a game with a girlfriend, and it’s a whole different experience. It’s only when we’re halfway through that I realize why.
Sidnie is mine. I don’t mean she belongs to me—I’m not that much of a Neanderthal—but she is my girl. I told her,I don’t want you to see anyone else, and she said,I won’t if you don’t.But that’s the closest we’ve come to explaining how we feel, apart from all the sex. We haven’t talked about where we go from here.
