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There’s no way I’m sexy right now.

He adds more bubble wrap, even though I’m already almost too thick to sit on that narrow sled.

This time when he steps back to inspect me, he looks pleased.

“Seriously?” I ask incredulously as I blink at him a few times, hearing my voice muffled by the helmet that covers my mouth too.

“Seriously,” he confirms with another nod.

Since I clearly have no choice in the matter, I huff out a breath of frustration and waddle like a fool toward the sled.

Tate and Porter snort and turn away as their bodies shake with silent laughter. I no longer feel guilty about how bad they still smell. The next time they complain about it, I’ll laugh like an evil bitch.

Those must have been some rancid fish.

A few bubbles loudly pop when I can’t bend my knees enough to lower myself down gracefully and end up plopping down on the sled.

This sets off a few more rounds of hushed laughter.

It’s hard as hell to do, but I look over my shoulder to find Reese palming her face, staring at me through a crack in her fingers. She shakes her head as though she truly pities me right now.

On the plus side, I feel pretty safe by the time he gets in behind me and we shove off.

That is…until the sled dips straight down and I realize just how steep this drop really is. It didn’t seem all that bad…until now.

Just as my stomach finally climbs all the way to the middle of my throat, a scream erupts.

Kai curses from behind me, my eyes widen in horror at the trees at the bottom of the hill, and I question why he has a death wish or something.

“Don’t wiggle!” he shouts, but I don’t think I’m wiggling.

I think I’m vibrating right the hell off the side of the sled, and with my arms and legs out of commission, all I can rely on is him. I don’t think he knows that.

Or I don’t think he’s strong enough to keep me on the sled, steer it, and keep himself on it, all while leaning and balancing just right to keep us from—

My breath leaves in a rush when my side pounds the snow, the sled finally tipping. He grunts somewhere close by, and rolls right over the top of me in the next instant.

The world spins round and round and round and…sheesh. It won’t stop spinning.

Wet snow splashes up my legs and all over my neck, the two main access points to my body.

Things are still spinning a little even when Kai is suddenly leaning over me, eyes narrowed as he just stares at me.

Did we stop rolling downhill?

“That wasn’t my fault!” I shout.

He sighs, drops back on his haunches, and shakes his head until laughter slowly starts to bubble out of him. From there, his laughter only gets louder as I wiggle on the ground, trying and failing to sit up.

I’d be humiliated, if I didn’t find his laughter infectious. As he starts laughing so hard he has to lie back, clutching his side, I find it impossible to even breathe through my own guffaws.

I’ll go back seducing him the old-fashioned way. Clearly I’m not cut out for this.

Wild Ones Tip #471

Subtlety is usually lost on us. Blame it on our obnoxious raising.

Chapter 18

KAI

*******

“Look at the cute little onesie I bought!” Ma says as she follows me out the door.

“Why are you in my house again?” I groan. “And why are you buying baby clothes?”

“It’s green. Green’s a neutral color. I’m not an idiot. It’s not wasteful,” she argues…

“Ma, for the last time, Piper’s not having my kids. She’s leaving in nine days.”

And she’s been acting weird lately. I’ve been struggling to behave myself, and she’s been cuddled up to me, touching me, and apparently not realizing how real my struggle is. Just the slightest touch has my dick at attention.

It’s all I can do not to shove her to the ground, rip off those fancy clothes she likes so much, and keep her to myself for what time I have left with her.

I know how fucking stupid that would be though.

“You spend every waking moment with that girl. It’s only natural for me to assume my precious babies are being formed as we speak,” Ma sighs wistfully.

“Stop following me,” I tell her as she gets in the Jeep, ignoring me.

“I want to show her my onesie,” Ma states in interruption. “Baby clothes always give girls baby fever.”

“If you show her that onesie, she’ll be on the first plane out of here earlier than expected.”

“That girl gets hearts in her eyes every time she’s around you. She’s not going anywhere,” Ma states, saying something flippant that she shouldn’t be so flippant about.

Piper has reaffirmed numerous times that she has to go home. Saying anything to contrary is pretty fucking horrible to do, since it’s giving me false hope.

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